Ache
by Lanie Kay-Aleese
Summary: Kyou hates being weak. He hates Yuki. He hates the dress in his closet. He hates Akito for stealing his memory - but most of all, he hates himself for forgetting why. Sequel to PLANTS. Slash.
1. Hypnosis of an Echo

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese 

_Sequel to "Plants"_

As always, I'm having a jolly time rewriting certain ideas that seemed to lack coherence in the fanfiction scheme...? Memory loss is SO popular for Kyou/Yuki fanfiction. So naturally I felt the urge to employ it. I cannot help but think that in this situation, it is appropriate - not just a random blow to the head - but then, I'm just a fangirl who writes what she actually would love to see happen in the show, so, there you go. 

Now, what I wanted to point out was, this story is very much following "Plants", but it could be read alone. Even still, without the first half, the story should feel incomplete. I feel strongly that the two stories belong together... Like ice cream and cake... burgers and fries. 

Summary: Kyou hates being weak. He hates Yuki. He hates the dress in his closet. He hates Akito for stealing his memory - and he hates himself for forgetting why. Sequel to PLANTS. Slash. 

Rating: Pg-13. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest.  
Category: Angst/Romance  
Pairing: Kyou/Yuki  
Length: 1/3 

All that Kyou could bring himself to remember was Yuki with tremulous grey eyes and cheeks flushed in the same shade of pink as cherry blossoms, because they'd had another fight. 

Except... for some reason, that didn't feel like the right answer. 

And Kyou didn't know what to think about that, about why he would have this vision of Yuki staring at him so passionately. And he wouldn't have had this illusion without there having been a reason in the first place. Certainly it wasn't an illusion. It was a _memory_, because he could distinctly _remember_ the pain in his chest, from when Yuki had knocked the _breath_ out of him. Even still, his thoughts crashed together in the odd way of jigsaw pieces forceably fitted together, even though they didn't properly belong. So Kyou slammed his fist against his wall and retreated to the roof and the endless, perfect sky. 

It surprised him, because he knew it had been cloudy this morning. He just wasn't sure _how_ he knew it. Because he didn't remember practicing his karate katta this morning. It was then when he actually looked around and not just at his feet, but at the busy world around him. The second time in the day, when Kyou went up to the roof, he looked at the sky, then, too. And it was the second time of the day. 

All the noise in the world fell back, as Kyou sat down and surveyed the night. Like a filter of grainy silence had been carefully placed around the world, Kyou listened and imagined that he was in some new dimension. He laid back, his head comfortably resting on his arm, on the roof, on a cool fall evening. Slipping out of focus, Kyou found that the north star looked like a raindrop caught in the moment of colliding with a sable pool of water and diamonds. There was an explanation for it, reasonably, scientifically, but somehow it felt better to think that this star was more important than the other ones. Because it shone brighter. It isolated itself, with such a radiant glow. 

It was glowing like Yuki's... _Yuki's what?_

Kyou tried to start the thought over. It was glowing like Yuki when he..._Did anything?_

Why would that stupid rat be coming to his thoughts at such a peaceful time? What had _happened_?

His body didn't feel much different. A little different, okay, but it was a good change. Kyou felt like he'd gotten good sleep for a month. He was cursed by the cat - and alongwith, it made him a light-sleeper. Another thing, he'd shaved roughly this morning, judging from the knicks that he couldn't exactly remember giving to himself. 

Which was odd. Kyou knew better than to block out pain - Shishou had always told him to learn from his mistakes. Sowhat if he _was_ brash and incorrigible sometimes? He still listened to Shishou and he _did_ learn, some things, and this was one of him. Kyou remembered every single kick to the face that Yuki had ever thrown him. 

Kyou's hand drifted to his face on its' own accord. 

That damn rat. It was his fault. It was his fault for making something happen that Kyou couldn't even will himself to remember. 

It all came down to that fact: He'd lost his memory. His memory must have been taken from him -- a humorous, impossible thought, except that Kyou knew it _was_ possible. He'd seen it so many times and had felt a horrible fear in his chest, that maybe, it would happen to him as well. 

And it had. 

But... but _why_? Why would he want to lose his memory and be so confused? What was _wrong_ with him? 

Kyou became inexplicably confused again. 

The sky was always so dark, and the roof so high from the ground. His stupor was so deep, that he hardly noticed himself returning to his room and collapsing onto his futon with a muffled yell. He'd been hypnotised. And he'd forgotten something very, very, important - he just couldn't remember this terrible thing that had brought him to wish his memories gone, forever - or, worse, - Kyou's eyes popped open and he turned his head to stare, horrified, at his wall - or worse, if Kyou hadn't wished this on himself at all. But something had happened, something so awful, that Akito couldn't bear him to remain in that way. That Akito had commanded his memories erased. 

But Hatori wouldn't obey those orders. He'd stood up for Tohru. He'd dealt with the hurt from Kana. Kyou didn't really like Hatori one way or another, but the doctor wouldn't violate his _mind_. Hatori, of all people, knew to hold that sacred.

* * *

Unless it was something awful. 

If Kyou really didn't want to live, maybe he would've wanted Hatori to steal his memories. He had to keep thinking this, because the other option was too great a betrayal - even for him, the most cursed of them all. 

So it must've been terrible, because he didn't want that, he didn't want to be too weak to deal with his life _ever_. 

Then the girly rat-boy had stumbled into the kitchen and into him. He was still half-asleep. He stood there unseeing, his face open and unguarded, and then he leaned into Kyou. Nervermind the feel of Yuki instinctively wrapping his arms around his shoulders (_itdidnotfeelfamiliarintheLEAST_), nevermind the fact that Shigure watched without a taunt(_butwiththosepiercinggrayeyes_). The middle pieces of a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle swirled about in his head. This, too, irritated him, because he'd just finished his morning practice and meditation, and the moment he saw the bruising across the rat's face, all of that serenity vanished. 

It wasn't concern, or anything. He didn't care about the damn rat, he just couldn't help but notice something he hadn't noticed yesterday night as they'd left the main house. The alabaster skin of Yuki's forehead had been cut open by a swipe at the eyebrow, like three lines aiming for... and there was the distinct ring of bruises in two other places, near the eye. 

The left eye. Just like Hatori. 

For some reason, Kyou felt a pang in his heart - chiding the cat, hating the cat, because this was his fault. Yuki had been hurt because of him. But then, he knew that it wasn't his doing, not directly at least; he knew that he hadn't directly caused the bruises, because he wasn't even strong enough to _touch_ the rat. Except, there _was_ one person, wasn't there? There was only one person who had ever scared Yuki - only one person who would be jealous of losing that control. 

Kyou imagined himself placing down the cornerpiece to his jigsaw puzzle. 

He'd guessed right, then. Akito had forced his amnesia. Akito had attacked Yuki. Akito. _Akito._

In the midst of this horrible series of epiphanies, Kyou didn't realize that he'd breathed the name aloud. Yuki, however, snapped to consciousness and jumped from Kyou's shoulder in a single motion. He squinted at his hands, as if he'd been burned. Kyou scowled. But then, the rat looked up at him. He didn't smart off or anything, he just kind of watched. 

It pissed him off, that he and the rat didn't end up fighting after that, because they_hated_ each other. And Kyou just wanted to hate the rat more than ever right now, and blame him for everything, but he couldn't. Because they were connected in this whole damn mess. Kyou could just _tell_ from the way that the rat stood there, searching his eyes. 

And at the end of second period, with the bell for class break ringing in his head, Kyou knew - without a doubt - that Yuki had lost something, too.

* * *

And now I shall speak with the outrageous accent of: _the swedish chef_.  
"iff yuoo refeeoo i veell beke-a yuoo a ceke." 


	2. A Fault Line in the Status Quo

I have nine cakes. But one of them is a double-deck-ceke for the young dear with the skitz. So mucho love goes out to **Enigmus (strawberry cake), Hayaku (carrot cake), Dark Lady Divinity (chocolate cake), Evil Kitty and Nika (two-tiered cake), sonic16 (vanilla cake), Celina (cheese cake), Kyo-Kyo the world-ruler (carrot cake!), and unheard screams (coffeecake!).** The chef is tired and will now rest while she plots her next plot for global... cake building. And ensures that she doesn't accidentally post the unedited chapter for upload anymore. --;; 

Rating: Pg-13. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest.  
Category: Angst/Romance  
Pairing: Kyou/Yuki  
Length: 2? 

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese 

_Chapter 2: A Fault Line in the Status Quo_

Passion. 

That had to be it. Passion was definitely the thing that Yuki had lost, because the next morning, when Kyou had cornered him against a wall, he'd just stared back at the cat and walked away. 

Sure, yeah, he'd walked away from fights before, but always with some snide remark, like "I don't have time for this" or something arrogant and proud. But damnit! It wasn't as if the rat didn't care. He was... he was beyond apathetic. Which should have made him incapable of caring, so hell, he really didn't make sense by snubbing Kyou in the first place by not caring OR caring too much. 

The damn rat, what the hell was his problem? 

Kyou figured that he'd been staring at the wall for too long. Because Tohru teetered up to him with a worried look on her face. For some reason, when Kyou turned to look at her, that expression was much more _annoying_ than it used to be. Still cute, but, it was frustrating that she was _there_. Since Kyou wanted to go back and demand that fight from Yuki. 

"Damnit!" he spat, all the while looking over Tohru's shoulder to see Yuki disappear back upstairs, "What do you want?" 

"I... ah..." 

"C'mon, say it," Kyou prodded, now turning to her. She appeared vaguely stricken, and at once, Kyou felt horrible and softened his eyes. "Go ahead." 

Tohru swallowed and conjured those tears that seemed to spring from her bottomless well of empathy. She often found that particular brand of emotion far too quickly for Kyou's comfort - he was completely on ends. She always made him - nervous? No, not _weak_. Tense was a better word for it. But this "tenseness", too, felt to be a different sort of the same anxiety that he'd always experienced to her. What had changed? Had it happened over night? Or had he forgotten his memory... and maybe... feelings, too? 

"Kyou-kun," Tohru bit her lip, "I am very sorry to say this. But I want you safe. You don't look well, and, and you neeed to _get well_... So..." 

Kyou felt his left fist, twitching, as the words bounced in his head, _Get on with it, say it, it's driving me crazy..._

"It would be best, Kyou-kun, if you stayed away from Sohma-kun." 

And at that moment, the entire world stopped spinning - it tilted off of its' axis - and dropped all of Kyou's thoughts from orbit. 

"You gotta be kidding me," he said, stricken. What the hell? Tohru had tried to love Akito. She had shown love to him. And now... she did not want him to try and care about his family? When she had wished for so many new years, that they would get along better? He didn't get it. He didn't want to. He hardly believed that such insensitive words had come from her mouth. 

Judging from the look on Tohru's face, he'd need to start believing, _fast_.

* * *

It wasn't hard to stay away from the rat prince. Kyou had tried to do that all of his life, and maintained what he considered to be a considerable personal distance - up to the point when Tohru came along and tried to bring him and the rat together. Things had gotten better between them, slightly. Every time that the rat spoke, Kyou hated him even more, and Yuki hated him likewise, but that's how things were and there was almost something... predictable, consistent, and safe in that tradition. Kyou clung to that safety net over everything else in his life. And there were two times that they had fallen asleep together, in the same room. Wait, they had only done that once. 

Then it changed. In one sentence, Tohru had practically told him to undo everything she had ever done, and to ignore a person who suddenly was everywhere around him and totally immersed in his life. Kyou had never been able to do that, at least, from what he _remembered_. Keeping the status quo shouldn't have been so difficult. Except that the Unmemorable Event had changed the status quo. 

Because really, Kyou wanted nothing more than to talk to Yuki and find out what he knew about the whole situation. Or maybe they could work together to figure things out. Kyou wasn't sure how he could even stomach the thought of doing anything with the rat, but it was something he didn't have time to think about, because he was too busy watching Yuki - wondering how much of his behavior had changed. 

That he'd tied his tie correctly, for once, and it was perfectly straight without Tohru's help at all. When had that happened? 

Had he always been so self-sufficient, so isolated, so... lonely? Was it normal for him to exclude himself from the group and watch cooly from a distance? Kyou didn't remember caring before, but suddenly, these lines of thought were triggering all sorts of questions about who Yuki even _was_. 

After the walk home from school, with Tohru chattering, laughing, and spilling her thoughts like jugs of lukewarm water, Kyou had never felt more relieved to trudge upstairs. Yuki stole away before they even reached the house, and Tohru gave him a surprised look before then sighing in adorable relief. 

"He's probably just going to his garden," she said, though her mouth twitched strangely at the last word. 

Kyou just shrugged and said he didn't care. Why would he? It was just a stupid garden with stupid plants. And it had been the longest day of his life. He remembered all these school lessons - mostly. He remembered understanding it and he remembered recalling certain information that he couldn't recall learning. At one point, Kyou had just wanted to scream. He'd wanted to leave the class, preferably by the window, and most of all he wanted to not feel Uo and Hanajimas' eyes drilling into the back of his head.

He slipped into his room, and grunting, dropped his backpack on the floor. His clothes were hot and sticky from the humid air; hadn't a cold front just come through? It was strange that he remembered the cold weather being important.

Kyou slid open his closet and began to undo his shirt, so he could take off the damn thing and wear something comfortable and collarless. He was reaching above his shoulderblades to tug on some of the fabric, when something strange - from the very back of his meticulously neat closet - caught his eye. Kyou dropped his grip on the shirt, and moved his hand to pull aside the clotheshangers instead. 

It wasn't his imagination. It couldn't be his imagination, because this monstrous creation was too awful for words. And for the first time all day, Kyou felt certain about something: he was glad that he didn't remember owning a dress. 

Like a thing possessed, he tugged the costume roughly off of its' hanger, and, maintaining a firm distance, held the dress aloft. It was actually quite harmless. It was probably Tohru's. Kyou did not want to imagine why else a dress would be in his closet. Maybe Shigure had to do the laundry and thought it would be a funny joke? Maybe Tohru ran out of space in her closet? God, was he really that desperate? 

"Hell, yes," he said, and glared at the green atrocity. He didn't hope that it would burst into flames if he stared at it long enough, but it was a fantasy that he didn't mind indulging while his mind short-circuited _again_. This led to visualization of him setting the dress to flame, and then catching himself on fire, because he was, in fact, wearing the dress, which he solemnly refused to consider any further. 

And it was midway through this fantastic nightmare that Yuki Sohma broke down the door to Kyou's room, covered in dirt up to his shins and up his elbows, and with a disturbed expression on his face. 

"Someone destroyed my garden," he explained. The rat then paused for a moment before sending a blank look to Kyou and 'company'. 

He made a subtle gesticulation. "Is that a...?" Kyou mentally filled in the blank as Yuki continued. "...So, it's yours?" 

"Don't ask me that!" shouted Kyou, and he flung the dreadful object at the rat and the doorframe. "You're the girly man, _you_ take it! It's YOURS!" 

"So what was it doing in here?" Yuki asked neutrally. The hair on the back of Kyou's neck prickled. 

"I DON'T KNOW!" He shouted, as the rat bent over to pick up the dress. He dusted it off lightly. 

His mouth twitched at the corner. 

"You should treat your clothes better, Cat." He was going to smile! That damn rat! 

"Shut up! It's not _my_ dress! It's probably Tohru's!" 

The smirk grew on Yuki's face, easily, and he stepped into the room. "First it was mine... and now it's Honda-chan's, can't you even try to be a convincing liar, you - stupid - cat?" 

Kyou leaned in. "You calling me stupid?" 

"Yes." 

"Why I oughta-" 

"Why you oughta _what_?" prodded Yuki. 

"I'll beat your girly face in, all right!" 

"You can't even _touch_ me," Yuki smirked. Kyou, enraged, opened his mouth to shout a reply, and truly meant to, but instead his jaw kept itself where it was and he stared in some sort of horror: the rat's eyes were _glimmering_. 

Why? Yuki cocked his head, a little to the left, and somehow Kyou felt all thousand of his thoughts running through his head, even though he was never this clear-headed when he was fighting Yuki and now he had just - just withdrawn himself completely, and stopped, and actually looked into a pair of violet eyes that he could've sworn to be... Besides, Kyou figured it was just because he and Yuki weren't in sparring distance. The tips of their feet could've touched, and Kyou found it strange that they had left absolutely no space for attacking whatsoever. Not good attacks, anyway. 

Why? 

"We're not fighting, are we?" the words tumbled from Kyou's mouth. "I mean it sounds like fighting and looks like it but I don't feel like it... huh." 

Yuki stared back at Kyou, for barely a moment. Then, a sudden panic flit across the violet irises, and Kyou jolted to throw up his guard, but lightning flashed, and it struck him, a shock of motion and electricity. Kyou stumbled backwards with his hands cradling his jaw. Stars flashed in his eyes. His lip swelled and he blinked his eyes twice, just enough to catch the rat grimacing. Kyou focused on keeping his feet attached to the floor. 

For a moment, the world spun again as it tried to realign itself and spin Kyou back into its' orbit, but Kyou couldn't understand anything outside of two real and familiar feelings: First, the heaviness of Yuki's footsteps as he left in the room. And then, strangely, the feel of his stinging, bruised lips. 

It felt familiar. It felt _euphoric_. 

Why?

* * *

And now a brief message from: _your local hill-billy._  
"Betchur hankerin' fo' sum lemin writin', does ya? Har-har-hiddly-har! Yer a-gunna hafta asker nicelike, yup.." 


	3. Memory Rot

My lovely reviewers, what would I do without you? Obviously, the answer is "not write". But since I do write, I would like to give props and appreciation to: **tsuki fox** (my dear, akito is a bitch. so is your guesswork. by that i mean that you made a very skillful guess, but it's quite more complicated than you hypothesized) , **sesshumarusgirl101** (thanks, i will!), **Caer** (flustered I'm surprised I'm continuing the story, too.), **unheard screams** (I aim to please... Hahaha but thanks, I'm glad it was funny!), **A lilmatchgirl** (gives you a Yuki plushie, because Yuki no likee the fangirls... i'm sorry. pat pat.), **Hayaku** (aagh, a lemon right now? i think i would want to jump off the third floor of my school before i would post something so OOC), **Evil Kitty of Doom** (Ahem! A tiered cake a cake that has layers, like a wedding cake. Skitz Schizophrenia. You amusing), **Dark Angel of Fire Ice** (hoards the cookie selfishly! woohoo! ), **Dark Lady Devinity** (Hmm, hmm, emotional overload, eh? Well, the way I see it, Yuki is tempered by one pervasive emotion most of the time. Kyou, on the other hand, is likewise burdened with one emotion behind the scenes at all moments- but his is an itchy pain, unlike Yuki's steady sorrow. So Kyou's feelings come out in far more agressive, stimulated displays than Yuki. But I must admit that by any comparison, Kyou's emotions are like emotions on crack.), **Sonic16** (see paragraph below, and thankyou for the vote of confidence!), and **Kyo Kyo rules the world** (Thanks! I get confused by the dresses in my closet, and I'm a girl, so there you go. I write from dress-confusion exprience. But it's actually not my fault, it's my sister's fault because she's the one who dresses me... xd). 

As for the lemon, let's put it this way: I have to start writing it now for it to be ready in eight chapters' time. (sweatdrop) But yeah, a lemon in this chapter would be just a liddle bit awkward right now. Kyou still thinks he's straight. Sort of. Baka neko. 

Rating: Pg-13. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest.  
Category: Angst/Romance  
Pairing: Kyou/Yuki  
Length: 3? 

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese 

_Chapter Three: Memory-rot_

- - - -

He couldn't sleep, so he left his room. And then the house, and then he left himself, mostly, as he wandered through the cleansing rain. 

His mind drifted. There were memories of his mother that had nothing to do with _anything_, and of Tohru, and Master, and the rat, but that didn't explain or make better the mysterious element of his life that had changed. It just prodded at the smoldering fire that was endlessly burning out a corner of his heart. 

Somehow, his mind circuited endlessly towards the ache. 

He'd never been good with this sort of thing, understanding what was going on inside of him - and outside of him. Most of it he imagined to be muscle memory; like how he had known where Tohru had moved the spices, even though he didn't remember her moving them. The things about his feelings, they were harder to explain by his reflexes. Like when he was studying, and couldn't understand the derivative, and suddenly a knock was at the door. And when Kyou had scowled and opened it, there was a study book at his door (with Yuki's notes). And when Kagura had chased him down for her birthday celebration, he'd been miraculously saved by his duties as fool (Yuki had beaten him at Rich Man, Poor Man). And this morning when he was just trying to punch into the air, he couldn't finish the punch. This - this had _never_ happened, because he wasn't aimless and thus his punches were aimless. And he wasn't lacking intensity; or anything; but his technique just felt _off_ because when he was finishing the punch, he couldn't set his fist without it wobbling in empty space. In the time that he'd forgotten and suddenly couldn't forget, had he really changed so much that it he'd not only shifted in his feelings - but he'd even recreated the physical alignment of his mind? 

Lightning crashed; the thoughts ending abruptly; and Kyou followed completely as he dropped onto the ground. 

A ragged breath against the rain-drenched soil. "Damn it..." 

Kyou sprawled forward and unclamped his eyes. Tired. He was so tired and suddenly wondered, how long had he been walking? Of course, all that borrowed strength was bound to leave him. Even if it pissed him off, he was unavoidably weak in this sort of weather. 

Except that tonight, Kyou didn't mind the rain. This feeling was familiar. This, at least, had not changed. And he liked the feel of the clumpy soil and long, wet grass against his feet. 

By the time he smelled the rain, and heard it breaking from a cloud, he realized where his feet had led him. A charcoal, grey covering dimmed the weak morning light. Kyou's crimson eyes glistened as he took in the scene - it was a patch of churned soil and loose earth, a clearing with a smell that awakened a hunger in the pit of his stomach, and a rotting, uprooted head of cabbage. It had been the secret base. Yuki and Tohru had talked about it so many times, and Kyou had spied on it, sometimes, but it wasn't anything special then. In its' state of degredation, though, Kyou imagined that he could see how Yuki had found it special. It was a really blatant act that demonstrated Yuki's intimate bond with nature, even if someone had severed the bond like this. Kyou grimaced at the sickly yellow strawberry bush, and somewhere nearby, a smell that leaked from the corrupted ground. The smell wafted to his nostrils, and the blood drained from Kyou's face. 

He hated this smell. 

There were some scents that he didn't like. Some that made him sick, some that hurt, some that made him sting. This, though. He didn't like this scent - because there was nothing to dislike - it was the smell of _nothing_. 

It was the smell of not knowing, and not feeling, and it was the end of all feelings and all memories and absolute brokenness and- 

_"... Hey, do you... smell that?" Kyou had whispered as a heavy fog swirled around him-  
"No," the other person lied - and then the person's breath hitched with pleasure -_

Crack, boom; lightning flashed and Kyou swung around as a strange image seemed to overshadow the static sky - ambiguously, it looked like a basket of laundry - 

"Who said that, huh!" Kyou stumbled over his own shouts, "Hey! Where did that come from?" He whipped his head to face the forest on all sides. He curled his fingers into fists at his sides, and took a deep breath through his nose. "HEY!" he shouted again. He heard his voice come back to him in echoes, and he scowled in spite of everything when his stomach churned in reply. He stuck his hands into his pockets. A bolt of eerie violet lightning jarred the sky. 

Whatever sort of conversation he'd just heard, though, it had been too brief and pointless to be considered an _acceptable_ memory. But he was either hearing voices or remembering them, and both seemed pretty awful at his point because Kyou didn't really want to remember that smell, because he hated it and it was important. 

The thoughts gave way to dark forest forcefully, and Kyou stumbled as if knocked on the head; residual red stars and blotches hovered at the edges of his vision, and faded onto the shadowed veil of silence. For a moment, he stared and refocused his eyes-- 

-- and blinked a second time. Understanding settled on him uneasily: a recap of the last few moments, explaining why it felt as though his body was not his own, and why the hair had raised on his forearms, and the back of his neck. 

And then Kyou's nose twitched entirely out of its' own accord, and he covered his mouth with one of his hands and turned aside, swallowing quickly. He ranfrom the desolate secret base with a salty burning at the edge of his eyes and a peal of cackling thunder that rolled like a barrel across the sky. 

Even with those proddings, Kyou could only run for a couple of minutes before collapsing onto the ground and spoiling it. 

He bit back the aftertaste with disdain, and waited for the rain to intensify and to wash away the filth; and he wished - not for the first time - that he could run forever, and never heave raspily onto the clingy ground. 

And never do something so stupid again, like getting sick over a smell and a half-imagined memory. 

- - - -

Ha, a literal flashback... What a terrible joke. Anyway, I'm SO sorry for the long wait and this lame chapter. I'll just have to do better on the next update. Please forgive me. 


	4. Foolish for a Moment

Yay! Another installment. I'm lazy this time around - more accurately, sick with strep throat - so it'll be a quick thanks to the reviewers... In truth, the last chapter could best be summarized by "A strong smell and a strongly smelly personal life". But don't worry, there will be more pleasant smells later on in the story. So in sum, THANKS Tsuki Fox, Dark-Lady-Divinity, Kyo-Kyo rules the world, Dark Angel of Fire Ice, Evil Kitty of Doom, and Avocados are evil.

After that lovely "filler" chapter, something strange has appeared. What is this strange thing that is coming in Chapter 4? Why, it's the _plot_ as it begins to ferment and develop. How completely silly.

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese

_Chapter Four: Foolish for a Moment_

Rating: Pg-13. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest.  
Category: Angst/Romance  
Pairing: Kyou/Yuki  
Length: 4?

- - - -

Tohru had appeared at his desk the moment that the bell rang for the end of class. She leaned against the desk, swinging her bookbag behind her back in the empty space beneath the table while singing a catchy tune by _SMAP_, and even though the song didn't make much sense, she donned a huge smile as she waited for Kyou to gather his things.

"It's such a beautiful afternoon!" she exclaimed. "Afternoons like this always make me feel so happy."

The orange-haired boy looked completely past her and swung his heavy bookback onto the top of his desk.

She paused for a moment, to watch him, then clapped her hands together with exuberance. "Wow! You've got a lot of books, don't you, Kyou? I bet you're planning to study very hard tonight."

Kyou tossed her a sullen glare. "What are you smiling about?" he muttered. "I've gotta clean the whole classroom and it'll take me forever."

"O-oh," she blushed as the smile faded from her face, and tried to regain her composure. "Well, see, I thought that Yuki and I could wait to walk home with you."

Kyou stood back and crossed his arms. His eyes, however, were soft. Just barely.

"Look, that's... that's really nice of you. But this is going to take me too long. Just go home."

"I'm sorry that they're making you clean. I would help but I don't think Uo or Hana would be very happy... After all, the 'fool' is supposed to do the chores on his own, and I do a lot of cleaning at my job... But... But I'm really sorry that you lost! I'm sure you'll win sometime soon!"

"...Whatever," Kyou sighed, at last. "I'm just not very lucky."

Tohru peered up at him, the smile retracing itself on her lips.

"After you finish the fool's chores, then, maybe we could walk together?"

Kyou sighed. "No, it'll take too long. Just go on. It's okay."

"It's not a problem!" Tohru insisted, "Really, I wouldn't want you walking all the way home on your own! If you collapsed it would be all my fault!-"

" - _collapse?_ -"

"- or if you transformed from all the stress, it would be even more terrible! I don't know what I would do if you got hurt because I wasn't a good enough friend to you! I can't let you do that, Kyou!"

"Why the hell would I _collapse_?" Kyou snapped, "I'm not weak, damnit! I can take care of myself without you! I'm fine on my own!"

It took a moment for the words to sink in.

But by the time Kyou looked up, Tohru's expression had already plumetted. Kyou grimaced.

"Tohru...?" he began, wincing.

"I... I'm sorry, Kyou," she sniffled. Her eyes were tearily focused on her feet. Kyou dropped his head into his hands, chiding himself as Tohru continued.

"... I didn't mean to say that you were weak... You are very strong, Kyou... But... Maybe you did not realize it, but, I think that your body is not healthy right now. Your cheeks are so sallow... It's like you're not eating enough."

"Well... I... Hey, it doesn't have to do with you."

"I know, I know. It isn't my business. You haven't let me in... It feels like you won't even talk to me anymore. I'm so sorry that I offended you somehow. And I know that I did something because recently, there's been this troubled atmosphere around you whenever I approach. And I can't talk to you because you always have to go somewhere and I miss you... I miss you and I worry for you, Kyou. So please, just -- just take care of yourself," Tohru finished, and buried her face in her hands, unable to fight back the tears.

Not knowing what else to do, Kyou rested his hand on her head.

Her shoulders shook a couple of times, but somehow Kyou could feel her spirit being warmed. They stood like that until the tears stopped, and then Kyou gave her a sort of half-pat on the head - and went right back to cleaning the classroom.

After that, Tohru left with Yuki. Kyou shivered from the cold draft of air that came without her presence.

He swept a pile of lent into the dustbin, and as he stood up with the gathered dust, caught sight of Tohru and the rat walking off of the schoolgrounds together. Yuki turned his head slightly to laugh at something that the riceball-like girl had said. Then, the pair turned past the gate, and disappeared behind the hedge surrounding the school's outer walls.

Kyou's fingers tightened around the broom handle.

He was frowning.

- - - -

Kyou Sohma didn't know what to expect when he slid open the door to classroom 3-C.

He'd heard stuff, bad stuff. Stories about witchcraft and dark seances and love potions to accomplish certain secret acts of darkness. He'd heard that, on Wednesday afternoons, even the teachers wouldn't dare go near classroom 3-C. This one girl had interrupted to pick up her coat, which she'd left inside, and had woken up sick the next morning. And the witches had glared at her so hard that she knew that she was going to die. Well, she never died, but she did fail her English test, so obviously there was evil stuff in that classroom. Oh, and then it was rumored that the girl had become one of "them".

He'd heard that they hated Tohru Honda.

So most of it was nonsense. How the hell would anyone in the boys locker room know about it, that was Kyou's question. None of them had ever been stupid enough (brave enough) to go to classroom 3-C and to see the creepy girls for themselves.

Yeah. It was really stupid to even be here. But Kyou figured that he had to do this if he wanted to remember who he was. Because, from what he'd heard, witches knew _everything_. And he didn't know... anything.

So with a trembling hand, he slid open the door in the midst of something evil.

Two lines of girls stood with their left hands over their breasts, and their right hand rigid in the air, chanting in a powerful, swirling unison -

_"- I will do all in my power to protect Prince Yuki -"_

And then, the room went silent.

* * *

**From the Mouths of Morons:**  
Rebyoo da stowey obeekaybie, duh uh...? 


	5. Of Like Minds

Writing this chapter nearly killed me. I knew where I wanted it to go, but it's very difficult writing a set of characters who are dreadfully underdeveloped in fanfiction. Then I just sat down and rewrote the whole thing from 1 - 3 in the morning. Hopefully I portrayed the girls to an accurate level of crazedness. So happy thanksgiving, and here's a new update! I'm spending the rest of my break writing the next chapters - and hopefully, within the month - finishing the rough draft for this whole story, as I had done with "Plants". That way I can finish the story by new years. I speculate that it will be at minimum as long as the prequel. We'll see what happens!

Thankyou for all the support. Honestly, it makes me coo. I'm so amazed that everyone found the idea of the fangirls amusing. They always call Tohru a witch and I just think it's high time they get called witches themselves. As for **review responses**, I've decided to take to the new fanfiction approved system of replying to reviewers individually on the review page. I think that doesn't want us authoresses to be writing these ridiculous author/ess notes all the time. To this I say, nanoo nanoo. I like to get personal with people and "I'll do whatever I feel like, gosh!"

But as a mandatory sidenote, I would like to point out that Kyou would be dreadfully upset with the title of this chapter. I can just imagine him shouting at me, "We're not of like minds at ALL!". Well, you can read the chapter and just decide that for yourself!

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese

_Chapter Five: Of Like Minds_

Rating: Pg-13. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest.  
Category: Angst/Romance  
Pairing: Kyou/Yuki  
Length: 5 ?

- - - -

"What do you want?"

The lead girl turned to Kyou and placed her hands on her hips. Kyou recognized her as a student from his grade, from his class, but somehow she was a stranger. Maybe he'd talked to her once or twice. But knowing that he knew her made it somehow more creepy, though, that she had a fanclub pin on her blouse and a charm on her bracelet with the kanji of Yuki's name.

Kyou opened and closed his mouth as he changed thoughts midway.

"This club actually _exists_?" He exclaimed, and one of the witches had the indecency to look affronted.

The rest of them, however, finally chose to drop their rigid poses, and sigh in definite relief about their aching muscles.

It was with a grave sense of doom, however, that Kyou noticed the shared gaze between the president and some of the others; suddenly, the door was shut tightly behind him -

"What the hell?" Kyou turned around, only to find two sets of hands had grabbed hold of his arms. "Hey! Let GO of me-"

The darkly menacing face of a previously ambivalent blonde leader overwhelmed Kyou's vision. He could've sworn that lightning flashed behind her

"Shut... up ... if you want... to _live_," she said simply, and with his past experiences in mind, Kyou knew better than to disagree.

"Now," the girl continued, stepping back as Kyou was shoved into a chair and surrounded by a circle of girls with folded arms, "Who are you? What do you want with us? Why are you here?"

Kyou looked back and forth at the girls, thinking clearly to himself that they were absolutely _crazy_, and he was incredibly stupid to have come here.

Not that he would let them know it.

"My name's Kyou Sohma, and I already told you, I wanted to know if this club actually existed... Now let go of me!"

"Sohma? As in, Yuki Sohma?" A random witch gasped and clutched at her 'heart', "Does that mean... you're one of Yuki's cousins?

"Hey, I know you," a brunette with strangely blue eyes pointed her finger at Kyou in surprise, "Yeah, you _are_ Yuki's cousin; you moved to Kawai high school in the middle of last year, right?"

"That's strange," murmured the blonde leader, as the girls crowded closer around them. "You.. you must know a lot about Yuki, don't you?"

"Yeah! President Minami's right! I bet you know a ton of stories!" the blue-eyed witch motioned to a girl beside her, "Hey! Hey, Number Three, get the video camera... we'll wanna record this!"

Kyou pulled his arms out of the girls' grips, completely exasperated. Were they gonna ever shut up? It was so damned annoying! "I don't know any stories, alright!"

One of the girls reached out to hold down his arm again. "Of course you do!"

He swatted her away and scowled.

"Yeah well maybe I do know some stories, but there aren't any I'm gonna tell _you_! Besides, Yuki is a vain-" _rat_, he muttered under his breath, " -idiot. I don't see what the big deal is about him."

The girls in the room gasped.

"Yuki-kun is a _prince_. He is beautiful, and noble-"

"Yeah, that's it!" Kyou insisted, "How the hell is he noble? He's a cold bastard who thinks he's too good for everyone! Are you people blind?"

The room went silent for a moment, again. The static disconnect trembled in the air between Kyou - the outsider - and the girls, who seemed to be troubled by something that Kyou couldn't pinpoint or try to explain.

The blonde leader, Minami, had a pouty bottom lip - and Kyou couldn't help noticing that as she stepped forward, looked down on him, and asked, "Who told you about us?"

He rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Geez, I don't know, maybe all the posters gave it away."

"Posters?" asked the blue eyed girl. She turned, slowly, and the rest of the room followed suit to stare at the girl with a frog on her head, who was laughing vapidly at Kyou's comment.

She shook her flipped hair and said airily, "Well, I thought to set up some official club posters across the entire school, so I could tell everyone about the next meeting and when to pay their dues. It's more convenient than email..."

"You pay dues?" asked Kyou. "For what?"

"To pay off the security guards," said Minami plainly.

Kyou felt distinctly concerned about this.

Hell, he'd had no idea that these girls were so crazy. If they'd just been sitting around, pining after Yuki, that would've been okay. But - he noticed the strange piles of boxes in the back of the room that were marked "CLUB ONLY" - these girls were so damned organized, and determined. They weren't just fans, they were _fanatics_. It was only vaguely disturbing to find out that half of his whole school was so insane. And about Yuki, no less. Why Yuki? What was the big deal? What made him so special-

"Sohma-kun," a voice interrupted, "Tell me. Why do you hate Yuki?"

Kyou turned around and found himself facing one of his classmates. He couldn't place her name. He just knew that the girls had suddenly become raptly attentive to his words. It was freakish, and he didn't know what to say. So he deflected.

"What the hell kind of question is that!" he shouted.

"You came here because you wanted to see if we existed. But you - you could have easily looked inside, and then left," said the girl. "Instead, you lingered. You waited. You wanted to know more, it seems."

"I-" Kyou fished for the right words, "...I'm not like you. I'm not obsessed with Yuki _like that._"

"Even so. You're obsessed with him all the same, aren't you?"

Kyou looked away, flushing.

"Whatever," he said, finally, and stood up from the desk, "I'm leaving."

He was across the room when Minami called out to him. "Hey, Kyou-kun?"

Kyou tightened his grip on the door handle, but didn't turn around.

"Yeah, what?"

"For Next time," she smirked, "The meeting starts at 4:30."

And even though they were clearly insane, Kyou couldn't help being utterly mortified as he ran out the door and let it slam on the laughing room behind him.

- - - -

**The Ambassador of Pig Latania insists:**  
_"Eviewray oryay elseyay Youkay illway allfay inyay ovelay ithway Ohrutay Ondahay!"_


	6. What the Birds Could See

So, the last chapters were admittedly silly. But there will only be vague silliness in this chapter - sorry guys! Oh, and you people need to learn your pig latin ;). The correct translation was "Review or else Kyou will fall in love with Tohru Honda". Haha... don't worry, I don't think I could bear Kyou and Tohru falling in love, definitely not in this fic. Another common concern in the reviews was my apparent intention to shatter Kyou's dignity as well as masculinity. I am, myself, quite proud of the fact that boys are boys and vice versa. That's why in boys love, there are boys. Kyou would never be a fanclub member. Puh-leeze.

Her'es a long chapter than regular for you guys, since there was a bit of a wait. I've finally plotted out the rest of the story and it's going to be, well, "plotty". There is going to be even more angst, boy love and action than in "Plants". I'm excited! Hopefully I will have the next installation before finals week.

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese

_Chapter Five: What the Birds Could See_

Rating: Pg-13. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest.  
Category: Angst/Romance  
Pairing: Kyou/Yuki  
Length: 6 ?

- - - -

_Two white birds, gliding, in the wide blue sky; harmonized in the beating of their wings._

_The broad canopy of oak tree branches, casting dappled shadows and light onto the schoolyard below._

_A cool breeze, sweeping across the mellow blades of grass. _

_A warm hand ruffling his hair. _

_Was this what peace looked like? Was everything around him, even real? _

_Kyou's eyes fell closed as a purr stirred from somewhere deep inside of his throat. The body beside him scooted closer, sharing warmth and leaned against him with a satisfied sigh. He, the person beside him, was saying something so quietly that it got caught in the wind. Kyou humphed in reply, and the voice faltered. Then, suddenly, the person was breathing air at his ear, and Kyou managed to barely lift his eyes - and found his vision to be completely veiled by a purple curtain. _

_For some reason, this shot a terribly euphoric giddiness through his veins and into the tips of his fingers, and Kyou rested his head against the boy beside him. The boy laughed as he felt the purrs against his chest. But he didn't mind, and Kyou wasn't sure, but he felt like it had made him smile a little. Maybe they were both smiling. Yes... they were happy. _

_"Kyou..." hummed the boy's voice, low but soft as lilac, "You fell asleep again." _

_"Huh...? It doesn't matter, I'm not hungry anyway," Kyou found himself replying slowly, and buried his face deeper into the warmth of the soft body opposite of him. Because... _

_"K-Kyou..." _

He felt something...

_"You know we can't do that here - someone is going to see." _

...Some warm feeling...

_"Damnit, just let me stay a second longer? I'm tired, okay?" _

...Something stirring inside of his heart.

_"Baka neko." _

_"Kuso Nezumi."_

- - - -

_"Hey. Hey, Sohma-kun. Wake up, won't you?"_

Kyou's eyes drifted open to a blur of blue. A strange voice echoed in his head, and at the corner of his wobbling vision, he imagined the outlines of a face.

_"Oh! He isn't dead, then?"_ the person's voice rang out with a pout.

Kyou closed his eyes, trying to recapture the other voice that still echoed in the back of his head. It was throbbing. His _head_. It hurt so damn _badly_...

_"Stupid, his chest was moving up and down because he was breathing." _

_"Oh. Right, well I didn't..."_

A clammer of red and amber leaves drifted in zigzag gusts across the sky. Kyou followed their tumblings for a moment, as the voices joined into the swirling chorus of Autumn. There was a feeling, he could almost capture - something that someone had said about this feeling -

_"... and it's, you know, weird."_

- that's right - he'd said -

"...Shut _up_... You damn dog," Kyou grumbled, turning his head to the side.

"_Dog? He just called me a dog!_"

_"Hey, it sure is taking him a long time to wake up."_

Kyou felt a vague tingling around his tightly shut eyes. Something was wrong. These voices... they were not voices from his dream. They weren't just people walking around. They were the voices of people - talking to him, in the world that was real!

Kyou wiped off his eyes with the heel of his palm, and the moment he could see the girls' faces, he abruptly shot upright.

"...Y-You!" he stammered.

The president of the Prince Yuki club, Minami, looked back at him coolly. "Have a nice nap?" she asked.

"...H-hold on! Wait a second!" Kyou said with a voice still somewhat groggy from his nap, "What the hell is this... I was taking a nap! What's wrong with you people!"

"Wrong with us?" repeated the black-haired girl, strangely. She looked at Kyou, and then her friends, and then Kyou, and then went back to chewing.

Chewing. Because, Kyou assumed, the entire group was eating lunch. Eating lunch 'with' him. Kyou felt sick to his stomach. He definitely didn't remember them being there before he fell asleep. The witches must've come while he was sleeping. That was so damn _creepy_!

"Oh, you know. This is a nice place to eat lunch," said the witch, and then proffered a riceball to Kyou. "You want one?"

"No! I don't want your food, it's probably poisoned or something!"

"That's a pretty stupid thing to say," muttered Minami, who seemed to be sitting a fair distance apart from her two friends.

"Hey," cut in the brown-haired one again, "It's not poisoned! People tell me that it's really good!"

"No they don't," the others chorused, darkly.

"Awww, everyone is so mean-" she griped.

"-Would you just shut up?" Kyou grimaced, and began to massage his temples, "God, you're so loud! I wasn't even talking about you!"

"Well, if you won't apologize, fine! You can go hungry! I'll just eat this salmon onigiri by myself," said the blue-eyed girl, and popped the riceball into her mouth. Kyou flushed angrily and folded his arms.

Salmon flavor...! Of course he'd turn down his _favorite_ food. It figured.

Kyou watched the girl for a moment as she chewed, and the black-haired girl made a joke. He turned his head to the side and yawned noiselessly. It was strange, but he was wondering...

"Hey. You."

All of the girls looked up - and fastened their eyes onto Kyou - who became immensely uncomfortable.

"You... I mean... uhm... The one with the brown hair. Yeah. Who are you, anyway?"

"What kind of a question is that?" she demanded, "That's so personal!"

Kyou rolled his eyes. "It is not! Besides, you just sat down here and woke me up from my nap, and you never really told me your name or anything. It's a reasonable thing to ask, okay!"

The brunette hadn't even opened her mouth when the blonde girl choked mid-swallow.

"Ah, President Minami?" the black-haired girl exclaimed. To her surprise, the president looked up with a sobering expression.

"_That's so blunt. You shouldn't act like such a bastard, Kyou,_" she growled ominously, and suddenly an evil light emerged from the pit of the earth and began to swirl around her, "_-You should be nicer to other people. Especially towards other people who are in charge of your very soul...!_"

Kyou blanched completely white as the creepy blonde's eyes flashed with evil light. "Uh... I...Aah...!" he swallowed on his breath. Sitting next to Tohru would have been better than this.

"_There is only one the thread of our approval that is dangling you from the pits of teenage humilation and eternal damnation! So - you had better watch out... or else I'll make sure that you will never, ever, ever --_"

Kyou had been under the impression that Minami had something else to say after that, but two things happened at once: the president reached forward to grab onto Kyou by the tie (and intimidate him to the inch of his life, most likely), and at the sime moment, a soccer ball went sailing across the sky and smacked her directly in the face.

She promptly swooned to the ground.

It took several minutes to make the girl stop flailing ominously, somehow certain that her nose was broken. The entire group of freshmen who'd been playing soccer didn't stick around, since they all knew that Minami was a witch and, in Kyou's opinion, she was looking like Kagura in _some_ state of frenzy or another. It didn't help that her two friends were unable to stop laughing.

"Oh honestly, Minami," the brown-haired girl chided the president, between giggles, "you are _so_ dramatic sometimes."

"Dramatic? More like creepy," Kyou muttered to himself. Suddenly, all the witches around him bursted into laughter over again. Kyou tensed immediately and opened his mouth to defend himself, when he stopped. This was _different_ than normal. The girls weren't laughing at him, not really - they were laughing _with_ him.

Something strange flickered inside of his chest. It was... a good feeling.

Minami dusted off her blouse and sat down with a 'harumph'. Her pigtails bounced irritably as she folded her arms, then twitched, then picked up her chopsticks and stabbed at her croquette.

"Hey, you were asking my name a moment ago, right?" the brown-haired girl turned back to Kyou, her face still splotchy red from laughing.

"I'm Mio Yamagishi," she said, bowing slightly, "and the girl with black hair and her mouth full is Mai Gotou. And you already know our president, President Minami Kinoshita."

Another disdainful humph emitted from the president, who seemed to be picking out pieces of grass from her hair.

"We're all in the same class," Mai pointed out, "But usually you spend time with that... That _Honda_ girl during lunch."

Kyou stiffened, and involuntarily dropped his head slightly. "Yeah, so what?"

"Well, obviously you're not eating with her today."

Kyou shruggd. "Yeah, what's it to you?"

"Nothing really. It's just strange, to see that you two have had some sort of a... falling out."

"Hey! That's none of your business! I'm doing just fine socially, okay?"

Minami tapped her chin. "Mmm, that's what you say, but you're not in any school clubs. So you're not very social, huh?"

"That's not true! I just didn't join a club 'cuz I practice sports outside of school! I study karate-do! It's a better thing to do than wasting my time with something like a stupid fanclub!"

"Stupid? How dare you insult Yuki's-"

"I didn't say that Yuki was stupid!" Kyou covered, suddenly flushing as he realized his mistake in the presence of darkness, "I just think that _worshipping_ Yuki is stupid. You obviously think there is something about him that's worthy, and you think you love him, but you're wrong. You don't really care about his feelings!"

Minami clenched her fists. "How... How can you say something like that! We _do_ love Yuki!"

"You said that you don't even like him!" Mio agreed.

"It doesn't mean that I don't know him!" Kyou returned, sharply, "I live in the same damn house as him. I _know_ that he HATES the attention you give him."

"Kyou's acting jealous," Mai decided, her voice low and tremulous.

The words came without Kyou pausing for a second of thought.

"No I'm not!" he shouted, jumping to his feet, "I'm not jealous of what _you_ people do! I don't envy him for your stalking, your love OR your hatred, your crazy rituals... Don't you realize that, because of you, everyone is afraid to even _touch_ him?"

"Touch him?" Mai cut in. "Without his permission?"

"He's a prince, of course he can't just mingle with everyone," replied Minami.

Kyou threw out his fists.

"He's not a _real_ prince, okay? Maybe he just wants to be treated like a person, you know! That's all he is! But you put him on a pedestal! He hates the way you fangirls love him for who you want him to be! I'm not saying that I even _like_ that bastard or anything, but at least I made that judgement on who he _is!_"

Kyou stopped to catch his breath, and turned away, unable to face the girls any longer.

How long... How long had those feelings been hiding?

How long had those words gnawed at his heart?

Damnit, when had he begun to feel this way?.

He stared forward and saw a couple of sparrows land nearby, and began to peck at the ground. Minami, too, turned to look at them for a moment, then threw the rest of her lunch at them and the birds scattered into haphazard flight. Minami soundlessly left.

Kyou swung back around, suddenly consumed by the urge to apologize, at least to the girls who were still there - he really shouldn't have said that, even if it was true, what if they started _crying_ - but there was no one there, they'd all vanished, like victims of some terrible magic spell, and they'd even left their food behind them. Even Mio's salmon riceballs sat limply on their plate; the riceballs that she'd told Kyou he couldn't have.

Seeing that made Kyou feel worse than if she'd have even cried.

If she had cried like Tohru had cried that morning on the walk to school, that would have been unbearable. But this was a different pain; this was different and it hurt just as badly. This time, it was _his fault_ for saying something so stupid, something so unforgiveable. He didn't even know why it mattered so much if he would be forgiven or not. When had he become so self-decieved that he'd forgotten who he was?

Kyou knew he was. He was _the cat_, and the cat wasn't meant to be forgiven. The cat was worthless.

So, this cruelty... that he had shown the witches... it was in his very nature.

And he _hated_ how he couldn't even look at the salmon riceballs that Mio had left behind, not without feeling sick.

- - - -

**The Jivey Wivey says**:  
"_Scribble yo' mama some' dat' review lovin', honey._"


	7. Stranger Things Have Happened

Recently, I have developed this habit of listening to soundtracks while working on this story. I especially like the instrumental music. It is very funny, but I couldn'thelp imagining Momiji during this particular song, and I suddenly found myself wondering, will I ever write him into this story? I don't think so; at least, not as a major role, but maybe I will find a way. He is one my favorite characters. Speaking of favorite characters, I am very happy to feature that his Master is in this chapter! Kyou is very lucky to have him as a 'father', because he is so kind. My karate sensei is not like him at all, though... Whenever sensei sees me, he greets me by slapping my back very hard! Maybe it's how he shows his affection...? I wish he didn't like me so much. Then, I wouldn't fall over as often. And the whole class wouldn't laugh at me as often, either...

The other thing is that all of your reviews are making me feel all gooey inside. So, thank you very much! I hope this chapter is good. All of these seemingly random chapters may seem just like 'days in the life', but there is actually something to it... You will just have to wait and see.

Rating: T. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest. (Future M rating)  
Category: Angst/Romance  
Pairing: Kyou/Yuki  
Length: 7 ?

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese

_Chapter Seven: Stranger Things Have Happened_

-----

Kyou stood in the entryway of the karate dojo. And at first, everything seemed to be normal.

A couple students stood laughing in the corner as they took off their shoes and discussed their weekends. One new student stood near a mirror and kept correcting his stance. There were some others who were stretching out, getting loose and jumping. The colors were the same - muted, earthy browns and a tan wood floor, that shone, and creamy shoji panels with bamboo. The air in the room smelled slightly musky; a good, strong smell. He took in a deep breath of it and dropped his shoulders.

Even the floor felt right beneath his feet. Here, at last, he had found one place where nothing had changed - not at all.

"...Kyou?"

He swung around, a smile erupting onto his face. "Master!"

The tall man stood relaxed in the doorframe, his arms folded politely, and with a strange look that seemed to lift up his thin eyebrows. It was a serene expression unique to his personality, something familiar and comforting. Kyou was filled with an overwhelming certainty that he was right in coming here.

"Kyou-kun, it's... it's good to see you," the man said evenly.

"Yeah, you too." Kyou said, smiling a little. How was it that he could feel so comfortable with his Master, so much more so than anyone else he knew? "I'm really ready to train today!"

Kazuma's lips turned up. "Oh, you have a lot of energy, do you?"

"Yeah," Kyou agreed, as they began to walk towards the changing area, "I mean, I've been really bored and it's been pissing me off!"

"Bored? I thought things had been very busy. You had seemed stressed last time I saw you, and not just about school."

"Yeah, but it's not really anything big," Kyou lied flatly, not even sure what the hell his Master was talking about. He shoved his hands into his jean pockets.

"I'm glad to hear it," said the older man, warmly smiling again. "I'm going to go greet some of my other students. Hurry up and change, so you're not late to begin."

"Yes, Master," Kyou replied, and sprinted across the room. His heart beat wildly as questions and half-memories tried to sort themselves out. He'd been busy and stressed, huh? How did that tie into Akito? What would've stressed himself out, while pissing off Akito?

Kyou pulled his shirt over his head, and stared blankly at the wall.

It didn't matter. Not right now. He had to keep focused on his training, so he could get better, so he could beat Yuki, so he could win his freedom - or as much of it as he could ever get.

-----

"Okay everyone. Get into ready position."

A bead of sweat landed inbetween his eyelashes. A sticky gleam of perspiration had drenched the back of his neck and his gi clung to his shoulders in the most awkward way. Kyou loosened his gi and tightened his belt. He wiped his forehead - so thankful for wristbands - and popped his knuckles into solid fists.

"Bow to your partner," Kazuma instructed. "Left side attacking - make sure you are in fighting distance. Announce your first attack in the series only. Remember, we are focusing primarily on speed so I don't want to see any blocking, and I do _not_ want to see any of you attacking the face. Is that clear?"

Sparring. Free-style sparring, the time when he got to attack his partner in whatever way he wanted.

It was easy enough to watch his partner, to see him flinch and leave himself unprotected on the right side. He used to drop his guard like that all the time - some things had to be learned the hard way - and Kyou found himself surprised with his own speed, his sudden ability for combination attacks that were actually much more thorough than he'd remembered. In that time he couldn't remember, he'd gotten stronger, huh? He smirked to himself, treasuring the rumble opf anticipation in his stomach. He stepped back from his opponent's roundhouse and striking out with an elbow and punch and then the opponent turned around and Kyou saw it: his opponent's head was completely unprotected - it was open for attack, and this was _it_ - he was going to win now. And Kyou went for it.

Until that feeling boiled from behind the pit of his stomach.

A sharp blade slashed into his side, and Kyou doubled over himself and fell across the ground.

"Hey? What's-"

Pain. Screaming. A darkly laughing voice. With a gasp, Kyou pushed upwards so he could hold his torso from the ground with wobbling arms. _"Why can't the cat ever learn it's place?"_ a voice cackled in his ear. _"Don't touch him- ever-"_ And oh god the feeling - so much pain - his chest lurched forward - it hurt so badly now and it was swelling inside of him - the dirtiness - this terrible feeling- _Make it go away_ - And then purple hair - and it hurt, it hurt so damn much - _these impure feelings, you can't_ - blood and purple -

"-What's going on?"

_Stop it stop it stop it._

Kyou dropped his head to the ground.

"Stop it!" _I'm not - impure --_

Something foul clamped to the sides of his throat. Kyou coughed hoarsely, and his head went forward and his mouth opened and everything spilt out ---

- - - -

It wasn't long.

He hadn't sat there for half an hour, not even that, really, before Kyou felt Master standing beside him, staring up at the clearing sky. A bird sang lightly in a tree nearby the dojo's outer walls and a wind whistled softly by. The feeling of tranquility murmured in Kyou's ear, but it passed as quickly as the breeze had, continuing past and leaving him in the stagnant afternoon shadow. He tilted his head back just enough to sigh straight from the center of his chest.

"The class is over, huh?"

"Mm."

Kyou leaned against the building, letting the rough brick bristle his hair.

"I didn't mean to distract you like that," he said, slowly, "It was so damn stupid. I don't know why the hell I started doing that."

"You probably ate something bad. It's normal."

"No, it's not. I - I barely ate anything at all today."

Master chuckled softly. "That would do it."

"No, you don't understand," Kyou began to rub at his temples. "My stomach wasn't upset at all when I came in. It's not even upset right _now_."

Kazuma sat down fully beside him. "That does seem unusual," he murmured.

"You don't know the half of it..."

The conversation trailed off into silence, and yards away the sounds of people's chatter and business drifted to Kyou's ears. He frowned.

"Kyou," Kazuma began, his voice still soft, but with a sudden firmness that jolted Kyou to attention, "I know that I have failed in some ways... I haven't been available to you as much as I used to be... and for that I am deeply sorry. But, I would be a terrible father if I couldn't see when something was troubling my own son."

In an instant, Kyou felt like a child again, listening to his mother's self-condemning lamentations.

It was demeaning. It was... terrifying.

"Don't be guilty like that," Kyou responded, "This stuff that's going on... it's not your fault or anything. I just got sick."

"You _just_ got sick? That's all that happened?"

"Maybe, I don't know!" Kyou shot out, "What do you want me to say? It was just, being in there, in the middle of a fight, I was feeling so alive! I was moving forward - just to finish off with a strong attack, I was about to win - but I don't know, something felt wrong. Out of nowhere, I felt like my insides were being torn apart! I was hurting, everywhere, and I heard someone's voice and I think - I felt like I'd done something terrible. But I _didn't_!"

A cold hand laid itself across his forehead, and Kyou stopped talking.

"...What?" he panted.

"Your forehead is hot," said Kazuma, withdrawing his hand and sitting back, "And you stopped working out half an hour ago. You should probably visit Hatori."

"Hell no! I'm not gonna visit him," Kyou replied, fiercely, "I'm just fine."

"You're not eating, you're throwing up, and you're hot. Those are the classic signs of a fever. You've been pushing yourself too much while your immune system has been down."

"What's that supposed to mean," returned Kyou.

Kazuma observed Kyou carefully before he spoke. "You were very sick just a week ago. Don't you remember?"

Kyou felt his mouth drop slightly. "Hey, I was sick, not stupid! Of course I do!"

Kazuma lightly snorted.

"...Is that so?"

Kyou looked up sharply, finding his Master looking at him sternly. His eyes, they looked - troubled. Hurt, even. But Kyou couldn't be sure. And why would his Master make a face like that? There was no way that Master could even know about his memories being stolen. He had to have been talking about something else. Something else; anything else...

"It... was something I overheard, Kyou," Kazuma sighed deeply, hesitantly, "But as I imagined, and in fact, as I feared, this revelation does not come as a surprise to you. You were already aware that some of your memories had been misplaced, yes?"

"I... yes... I mean," Kyou stammered, his heart suddenly beating wildly, "Wait, I mean - _Hell!_ You can't - you can't just say it so openly - that - about what's happening -!"

_He knows. He really fucking knows._

"Look," he continuted, as Master gave him that patient, understanding face, "- it's not that I want to lie to you or anything but no one's supposed to know. No one is supposed to know that _I_ know my memory is gone, okay? It's supposed to be like nothing ever happened. So I'm trying to act like nothing happened. Ever. Okay?"

"Kyou... it's not healthy for you to continue living this way."

"C'mon, Master, speak to me plainly, won't you? I know it's not healthy to lose my memory! Duh! But I don't know why I lost it, and it's not like you know anything, do you?"

Kazuma sighed. "I don't know why your memories are gone. But that they would be taken from you... in this manner.. is unforgiveable."

"Come on, do you even know if it was my decision? I mean... do you think I wanted this?" Kyou scowled at his lap, "Do you think it's possible... That maybe.. something really bad happened? Something I chose to forget?"

The karate master paused and fixed his steely eyes on Kyou. His face was uncharacteristically pinched up, stress lines furrowed at his forehead, indicative of deep concentration.

"I am certain that Hatori wouldn't erase your memory without having first recieved your permission, Kyou. He is cold, but not unfeeling." And even stilll...

"Yeah," the cat grimaced and ran his hand through his firey red hair. "But, it's possible that he could've done it _without my permission_?"

" Kyou. I'm not the person to ask. I don't know very much myself," Kazuma paused and turned to Kyou thoughtfully.

"How much time do you think you may have lost?"

Kyou turned his gaze upwards, to the overhanging roof shingles and the empty blue expanse.

"Ahh... Maybe... 'bout three months. I remember the beginning of summer; June. A little bit of July, but only pieces. I think some stuff was taken out in different places, you know?"

Kazuma bowed his head. "I have no idea," he admitted. "What has happened, Kyou... It's not right. Your aura, it feels... like you've been shaken. Lost. Even angry. Before this, just a week ago, you had taken very ill. You need to be careful not to become sick again, do you understand me?"

Kyou sighed in exasperation. "C'mon, don't treat me like a kid, I can take care of myself."

"I hope so. Until you are feeling better, I don't want you returning to the dojo."

"WHAT!" Kyou snapped upright as if he'd touched a live wire, "C'mon! You know I need this place to escape from that house! And from Tohru more than _anyone!_"

Kazuma gave him a weary smile. "This decision is the best for you. In spite of the darkness that you may sense, there is still a light that has drawn you back to that place, like a moth to the flame. You have been gifted to recieve the knowledge that your memory is gone, unlike Kana, or Yuki's friends of the past. I believe... that as such, you have been given a precious gift, that you must use. Now is not the time to escape, but to follow the whispers of the past."

Kyou bowed his head in his arms. Damnit... It wasn't fair. Nothing could go right for him, it was his fate. This dojo, this place, it seemed to be the only thing that had gone unchanged during the time which he couldn't remember.

But _he_ had changed, and well, that changed _everything_.

-----

A public service announcement from: _Elmer Fudd_.  
"Guawanteed youw wiw get ten points mowe on youw pesky finaw exam tomowwow, when you weview!"


	8. Seismic Tremors of the Internal Jishin

Merry Christmas, everyone! Happy New Years soon, too!

Today I did my last bit of Christmas shopping. I had only one purchase, and I knew where I was going, so it took me less than a quarter-hour to finish my shopping! But then it took me half an hour to get out of the parking lot, and another half hour to be free of mall traffic. So this hour of mayhem was worth it, however, at a gift exchange this evening, when I received a Fruits Basket wall calendar for 2006. I think this completely satisfies the criteria for a full-scale obsession with Furuba: I also have a t-shirt, a wall-scroll, two 'fruits basket' ceramics, the full dvd & manga set - plus Jp. fan comics - and I have even had a themed party... Yes, a party. At one point, I even had Momiji's onsen (hot bath) song as my cell phone's answering message. But for most reasons, I don't find this too much of a reason for concern. More disturbing is most likely my constant need to rant about it! (I am also wondering what strange things also provoke other readers' obsession with Fruits Basket? What other weird things do you Furuba-loving people do/collect for this obsession...?)

_Chapter Title Note: 'Jishin' is the Japanese word for earthquake._

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese

_Chapter Eight: Seismic Tremors of the Internal Jishin_

Rating: Pg-13. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest.  
Category: Angst/Romance  
Pairing: Kyou/Yuki  
Length: 8 ?

- - - -

The sound of a shoji panel pushed aside. Kyou's eyelids fluttered apart; his body snapped rigid; his thoughts unmuddled from slumber. Still, exhausted, and silent, he listened.

"_Tadaima._ I'm home."

One word. One phrase, that nearly rendered Kyou of his stomach for the second time that afternoon.

He shot up from the heated table, his taste for watching television harshly abated by his rival's voice. Yet as he stood, he realized - too late - that he'd gotten to his feet too abruptly, and millions of black stars threaten to swallow the edges of his vision. Kyou swung his fists out to cover for his imbalance. Damn rat pissed him off so much. No way in hell that he was going to let the rat see him _sick_ like this. He'd just... just have to go upstairs.

The show he'd been watching wasn't that good, anyway.

"_Tadaima!_ We're home with all the groceries!"

The second voice... It was _Tohru's voice._ Kyou could hear the forced cheer in her exclamation, a sullen lilt that he had caused. That sorrow, that near unnecessary sorrow that was his fault - even it was still the right thing to do - suffered him with a guilt that swam through his veins and hummed hollowly in his bones.

Upstairs. He'd have to go upstairs, now, or else...

... Or else he'd hear more of Tohru and Yuki's conversation. And he'd have to deal with the feelings that their words were provoking, those feelings that were eating at his heart, threatening to shake foundations... He couldn't acknowledge those feelings, or else...

"Honda-san, are those Kyou's shoes?"

... Or else he'd have to confront them.

"I wonder why he's home so early?" said Tohru softly, "He never skips his martial arts training with Master Kazuma... I wonder if it was cancelled..."

Kyou hated to hear people talking about him, when he wasn't there, it didn't matter if it was good or bad because they would discuss him like an object and rationalize him, and to hell with that, maybe some things couldn't be talked over and made sense of like that!

"Stop talking about me!" he shouted and stormed out from the television room. Tohru and Yuki met him in the hallway.

"...Kyou? Are you alright?"

"Obviously!" he snapped.

"Sorry, I..."

"Don't speak to Honda-san like that," Yuki narrowed his eyes and stood in front of Kyou's path.

Kyou clenched his fists. "Get out of my way!"

"Honda-san asked you a simple question about your health," Yuki stated calmly, "Did you mishear her question, or are you simply incapable of responding to others as a human being?"

"Okay! Do you wanna fight over this!" Kyou grimaced, "I'll fight you... I will!"

Yuki folded his arms and shifted his weight back. "I thought so," he smirked, then turned his head to give a reassuring smile to the flustered 'flower' of their house. "Don't worry, Honda-san, there won't be a problem."

"You 'thought so' about what?" Kyou fumed, "What the hell is so funny!"

"You're always so impulsive, you generally announce that you'll fight me when you're already midpunch. But today you're all words and no action."

"Do you _want_ me to hurt you?"

A muffled, sing-song voice rang out from a room further down the hall. "Hurt each other, do whatever, just not in the house!"

Kyou flushed with embarassment. Had he gotten that loud? "Shut up, you stupid mutt! Mind your own business!"

"It IS his business," Yuki countered.

"Wait! Please!" Tohru interrupted and came inbetween them, pandering and flitful, "Yuki-kun, please do not pester Kyou-kun like this, not while he is sick."

Kyou flared up. "I'm not sick! I'm just home early 'cuz..." Kyou broke off in his sentence when the words stuck in an itchy place in the back of his throat. "... cuz Master told me I couldn't practice today, that's all."

He'd have to clear his throat upstairs. Just not down here, where they might get the wrong idea.

"Oh, then... Kyou-kun is not sick after all. Thank goodness."

Tohru thus closed up the conversation with a delicately wrapped bow. Kyou wasted no time in walking around his two class-mates, his two house-mates, his two fearful voices, and stomped to the stairwell.

Even so he, could hear a quiet voice continue in dialogue.

"...He's feeling..." Yuki fell silent, and Kyou could _feel_ the damn rat's stare on his back. They were talking about him _again_, before he'd even left!

"Hey, what were you saying about me?" Kyou turned around, his movements as sharp and shallow as his breathing. His eyes surveyed the hallway, quickly, realizing that only Yuki still stood there. Had he been talking to himself? Confused, Kyou stuck his hands deep into the pockets of his windbreaker. And even once Yuki met his eyes, he seemed to hesitate in his words.

"You're sick."

Kyou scowled. "So what if I am? It's none of your business."

Yuki paused, and his voice came out half-choked.

"...But were you sick already? Or is it just _starting_?"

Kyou, too, stood still. A strangely chilly draft filtered down the stairwell and wrapped around his shoulders. He repressed a shudder.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he replied, "Obviously I just started being sick, and I'm just finishing, too, so don't go worrying Tohru over it." Kyou's last word was broken by choked-back coughing, that he would liberate in the shelter of his room, but not where Yuki could see. Never where Yuki could see.

And what _did_ that damn rat see? Was Yuki testing him? If not, _what_, exactly, was 'just starting'? Was it some sort of a riddle? Was it something that was supposed to trigger understanding, a memory, did it matter? Did it mean anything at all?

Yuki made a noise as if letting out a held breath. "Nevermind," he exhaled with the greatest finality, "But it would not be wise to let yourself get any sicker. You're worrying Tohru enough as it is."

Kyou wanted to laugh at the rat's maternal advice and practically, concern. It was ridiculous. Yet it somehow felt less strange than the haunted look in his cousin's eyes. It took the greatest strength on Kyou's part not to turn around and try to comprehend the rat's profoundest, most undignified silence.

But it took the most strength of all to not look - not even for a second, throughout the afternoon- at the face of Tohru Honda.

"Is it 'just starting'...?" He wondered to himself, shrugged his shoulders, and finally escaped upstairs.

He coughed.

Even with all these things, Kyou swore to himself that he would not surrender. He would not get worn out by something like this. And a cold wouldn't change _any_ of it.

- - - -

"Hey, Kyou?"

It had been a couple of hours. Maybe. He wasn't keeping track because the moment he had unrolled his futon, he had mostly forgotten that he'd ever been awake. He'd forgotten that he'd been sleeping, until the door opened, and then everything became clear.

The unbidden noise had startled him, but Kyou didn't show it. He didn't feel _threatened_ by it, and okay, mostly he didn't feel as if he could muster the _energy_ to show an adequate response. Instead, he lay there, in the strange place between planes of consciousness. The raw thing in his throat seemed to stir and prickle at him. So he tuned into his other senses.

He watched the light filter in from the hallway, and Tohru's shadow made itself known, timidly peeking into the room. "Kyou?" her voice came out, softly, and distantly to his ears. "I hope I am not intruding so much..."

Chunks of orange strands cluttered Kyou's vision. Kyou felt his eyes blur and clear and he focused them on the panels of the wall across from him, and away from her.

"... I was just wondering if you felt like eating dinner..."

Stillness: no response, no movement, and yet somehow Tohru meandered, waiting to say something but never finding the words. Kyou could smell her tension, her confusion, her - near frustration - and her ever-present undertone of matronly worry. Kyou knew those feelings better than the backs of his palms; or the feel of his hands made into fists. He knew the feeling of being unable to express himself. He knew what it meant to be at a loss for words when it _mattered_.

Tohru let out a deep sigh. "...Get... Get well, Kyou."

Most of all, Kyou knew what it meant to say the wrong thing. Most of the times, it was easier to just lie... To keep those scalding feelings tucked inside. It was his fate as a half-orphan of the whole damned _world_ to have things for himself, and only himself, that no one else could ever understand. If it ached, then that was -- his curse.

The door returned to its' comfortable close.

Kyou at last turned onto his stomach and coughed into his pillow.

A humming guilt? A gentle ache? The moment Tohru had closed that door, Kyou, from between his sheets, shivered for no reason at all.

It was like an aftershock from an earthquake that he couldn't remember.

The tremors inside felt like the after-shocks of an earthquake, the deep-down, distant-underground sort that didn't break down walls but threatened to shatter china dishes from their perches on the wall. When the dishes fell, Kyou remembered from a time long ago, that they made ringing, musical ting!s upon breaking into pieces. Just like when his Mama cried. Just like Tohru. She had cried, they had _both_ cried, it was his fault for breaking them with his earth-shaking guilt... He wasn't able to be who he needed to be for them... Not a good son or anything... And it wasn't even his fault.

Was it? Maybe, maybe, he just couldn't tell.

.. whose fault was it, but his own?

Where had this sickness come from? Why was it such a big deal? Why did it only hurt so badly when he was in this room or thinking about food or fighting or purple -

Kyou didn't know the answers. At that moment, the world a bleak mirage of shadow and sleep, he didn't want to know anything except the solid ground beneath him. He kept on staring at the nothingness until at last, the exaustion overwhelmed his eyes, and he returned to the world that had never abandoned him. That never left things unsaid.

"That never left things unsaid," said Kyou, and his voice came out as a rough whisper.

It was in the midst of these tremors that the door to his room was thrown open, and Kyou's world swarmed with an overpowering golden light.

- - - -

**Cheech'n'Chong, in a discourse concerning the value of 'magical dust' reviewing:**  
"Aw, did magic dust got 'em reindeer off, man? Are you kidding, man? They flew all da way around da world, man!"

Just think what all that stuff will do for my _updating_.


	9. His Trembling Eyes

HAPPY NEW YEARS! Lanie presents, "Ache: chapter nine. Bring in the new year with some almost-lime!" In this chapter, we do in fact have some slashy action. We even find out what was going on with Tohru and Kyou since Chapter Six! Yay! So this is a first-resolution chapter, which is incredible, seeing as everything is meandering so much. The second advantage is that now, Kyou won't be distancing himself from Yuki like Tohru told him to. I like to think that it is a very jumbled story because Kyou is very jumbled; contrasting from "Plants" where Yuki was very cohesive, logical, rational. Again, that's just what I'd like to think... Chances are that I'm being completely ridiculous.

I really wanted to make the chapter lengths smaller again, to give you more updates, more often. That way, each chapter also has more impact. Which is fun to me... But I was writing, and realized (again!) that obviously, then, this story is going to be a fair bit longer than Plants, even with longer chapters. Right now I'm thinking the length will be at 20 chapters, more or less. If they were short chapters, there could be nearly 40 of them, which is just too many. I could, of course, make this into a three-parter (instead of the second half being ENORMOUS!). What do you all think? In any case, I do want to make a huge THANKYOU! to all my reviewers. I actually glow after reading what you guys think about this story! I do in fact make happy noises to myself. So thanks and keep it up! I'm so happy. It really does inspire me... to write more...!

Now enjoy this next chapter, it's my non-literal baby.

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese

_Chapter Nine: His Eyes Trembled_

**Rating:** Pg-13. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest.  
**Category:** Angst/Romance  
**Pairing:** Kyou/Yuki  
**Length:** 9 of ?

- - - -

Long fingers on the brass door handle.

Kyou saw the shadows of hands as the door opened, and cast an expanding square of light and darkness on the wall across of him. His eyes centered on the hands, for some reason he couldn't explain. They were women's hands, and they weren't. They were stronger, somehow. It made them more beautiful, more beautiful than Tohru's trembling fingers.

He'd read, once, that hands said a lot about a person. But he already knew this person, and it was obvious that this was a flawed theory, because these hands, they just didn't match with Yuki Sohma at all.

The boy grasped the handle loosely, forgetting the touch - or maybe, reconstructing it - as he paused for some reason, ensnared by something on the shelf. Kyou didn't get it. There wasn't anything worth looking at there, so what was he doing, staring into dim darkness?

Yuki spoke at last. "No dinner, huh?"

Kyou sat up and leaned his back against the wall.

It was strange because he suddenly noticed, in that hallway light, how the rat hadn't grown much, during the time he couldn't remember. But _he_ had grown, and it made him now a couple of inches taller. He wondered if there'd been a conversation about that, maybe during a mealtime. He wondered if Shigure had made jibes about it. He wondered if he'd tried to gloat and Yuki had beat him to the ground. There was no way for him to know.

It disturbed him.

"What do you want, you damn rat?" Kyou swallowed a small cough before continuing, "It's not like you care if I eat or not."

Yuki folded his arms around his oversized navy sweater.

"No, I don't care about you," he stated, simply.

"Then what the hell are you --"

"Tohru thinks that you're mad at her."

Kyou frowned. "That's not it."

"Good. Because it would be _stupid_ to miss meals, in order to avoid someone."

"Of course that would be stupid!" Kyou scowled, "Geez, isn't it obvious? I'm sick. If I went and ate dinner, I'd just throw it up or something, and then Tohru would be _really_ upset!"

Yuki stood silent for a moment, awkward; and Kyou wasn't used to having conversations with the rat, only, and it got him all tense. And really, a part of him just didn't have the energy for it.

"About Tohru," Yuki's voice became stern and cold, "Why did you tell her that you didn't love her?"

Kyou paused, then, "'I - I _don't_ love her."

"That's a lie. Anyone with eyes can see you do. That's the only reason she was risking her feelings to say something"

"Yeah, well what about you?" Kyou shot back, "What about you? I've got eyes, too, you know. I've seen you flirting with her. I've seen you kiss her on the head before. I mean, come on!"

"That doesn't mean I'm in love with her," Yuki returned.

"Well neither am I!" Kyou leaned back against the wall, finding himself worked up - practically panting from the exhertion that just _verbal_ sparring had achieved. He couldn't read Yuki's expression, and it was really annoying. He looked down, instead.

"Look, I just... I just couldn't lie to her about something like that. It didn't feel right. I used to think it was what I wanted, but... it's stupid."

"No. It's not."

Kyou shot up, and fastened his eyes on Yuki. What he'd said had... almost been _kind_. Maybe something had happened to make Yuki lost inside himself, too. Maybe that thing Yuki had lost... was his coldness. Was it possible that he knew what was going on? And if maybe it wasn't just the world outside that changed, but Kyou who had changed, inside?

The question rose up from the back of his throat.

"Yuki... what am I like?" Kyou wondered, mostly to himself.

And then--

Something squished inside of his stomach, and a crimson light flashed from behind his eyes. It was like a thousand prickling volts of electricity had leapt from the back of his head. They shot down his back, through his extremities and the oxygen streaming in his blood- and Shit, he felt _terrible_--

Then, he looked up. Everything was back to normal.

Mostly.

The shadows were a little different, though. And there was a real terrible draft in the room. Yuki still stood near the door, again, and Kyou watched him as he shut the door firmly - for the second time - with his beautiful hands.

Yuki's fingers clenched as they held onto the folds of his pants. A strange grin spread across Yuki's face, striking Kyou as unnatural because the rat was never willing to _smile!_ in front of him, never willing to laugh...

Then Yuki swung his hips to the side, and he forgot.

"Kyou," said the rat, lowly, his voice in that strange whisper that woke up the butterflies from the back of his stomach. Kyou felt a smile tugging at his lips. He'd been so lonely.

"What do you want?" Kyou stretched out on the bed, and he felt the cool air tingling the exposed stretch of skin on his stomach.

Yuki cocked his head to the side. He glided towards the bed, a couple feet closer, so very slowly and delicately, his fair skin glowing.

"Nothing, really..."

So slow... so delicate.

The rat now stood at his feet, and he bent down, awkward in his clingy pants. Why did he wear such tight pants?

"Those pants look uncomfortable," Kyou said. Yuki smirked and pushed his hands into the rustling sheets around Kyou's legs. Tantalizingly slow, and with purpose, he tangled his fingers into the fabric and trailed them up to the very edges of the place where the cotton collided with Kyou's skin.

Even through the sheets, the touch made Kyou gasp. Trails of fire burnt beneath his skin. Surprise? Pleasure?

"They," replied Yuki, and the fingers swept beneath his knees, "are," and the pads of his luminous fingers trailing over the creamy white sheets that hid his thighs, "_quite_ uncomfortable."

The touch vanished, and Kyou shot out his hand. "Hey!"

His eyes clashed with the soft violet gaze of his cousin. And Kyou felt his face growing as red as his hair, yet he couldn't tear his eyes away. It was amazing, when he thought about it; the brown flecks that were scattered in a ring around Yuki's pupils. And even his lashes were that violet purple. It was like twilight, or daybreak, or as if his dreams had come back as a flower-

"Please. Just once," Yuki whispered, his eyes soft and sincere, "No one's watching... I promise."

"Okay," Kyou replied, barely able to muster the words, and in that moment, Yuki dropped his slender arms to Kyou's bare shoulders. He slung his left leg over Kyou's fabric-entrenched legs, and shifted over, so he was looming over Kyou _everywhere_.

His violet-grey hair framed his face like a heart as it hung towards the ground and Kyou. And then he smiled - with huge, dilated eyes - and it was so beautiful because it was for him, Kyou.

Kyou, who couldn't resist it anymore.

He reached out and cupped the back of Yuki's head in his hand. He pushed it down, firmly, and pressed the boy's lips to his own. In that very instant, heaven struck - something felt brilliant, giving and needy all at once. But mostly, it felt right. He was overwhelmed by the softness and intimacy that seemed to pour from Yuki's gracious mouth. Yuki kept the contact for a moment, then slid his tongue against Kyou's bottom lip, prodding Kyou's mouth to open beforeYuki was plundering the depths. Kyou felt himself responding, moving, tangling his tongue with his and Yuki pressed against him, so needy, so - so wanting - like no one had ever wanted him before.

And Kyou just couldn't help it. He couldn't stop himself from wanting back. He moaned into Yuki's mouth. He couldn't help the need that divested Yuki of all words, and left him without words, without wanting words ever again - he pushed one hand beneath Yuki's sweater and shirt, and slid the fabric up his back - and Yuki swept his fingers across Kyou's collarbone, and lower onto the naked skin - Kyou bit down on Yuki's lip, and this time, it was the rat who moaned - and the moment Kyou heard it, he nearly lost everything. He just wanted more touch - just needed more touch - just more closeness - just so much more of that blazing fire - just more - just --!

_"Kyou."_

Kyou broke apart his lips from an invisible assailant.

His eyes trembled.

- - - -

**New Years Greetings from the New Years Furby:**  
_"Gargle... ahahhaha...Kitty!... Me love you. Purrrrr."_

(Lanie wonders whose Furby this is, and if they'd mind if it was tragically drowned? TT;;)


	10. Too Much Honesty

I'm so happy! The last chapter was a success, and now I have gotten over 100 reviews -- (blushes) So, thank you. Thank you so much! And, ah, rest assured, the furby has been sufficiently dealt with. On a sadder note, I have recently come down with a terrible case of the flu. But then I thought to myself, "Wait! Wait, this is good! Inspiration!" and I promptly wrote down a couple paragraphs pinpointing exactly where and how I feel terrible. Then I went and slept for 16 hours straight...

It's kind of funny, I don't always know how to respond to your reviews! Everyone is making guesses (sometimes correct ones!) and I have to keep saying, "No! Shh! Listen to the dialogue!"... But I don't know if that wil help. What I mean is, it's easy to misunderstand an unfolding story if you're working off of unconfirmed assumptions. Since I'm writing _Ache_ in third person limited perspective; I'm only telling you what Kyou is seeing. And Kyou doesn't always see the things that are right in front of his eyes. He doesn't always understand why people say what they do. That's why his story isn't Yuki's. It's special.

After a little bit longer than usual, here is the next chapter! Yay!

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese

_Chapter Ten: Too Much Honesty_

Suddenly, the shadows had shifted.

The flash of light had already passed, and Kyou lay in his bed, with his pale-knuckled hands clutching the sheets, and his heartbeat racing.

He was still in his bed, still wearing his shirt. Yuki's hands were in his pant pockets; definitely not inside of _Kyou's_ pants or shirt or the cover of darkness. He was on the other side of the room, enveloped in the golden hallway light. He was wearing brown slacks. No navy blue sweatshirt.

He tried to make sense of it.

One moment, he had been laying in his bed, sick and disoriented; he asked a stupid question aloud on accident. The next moment, the scenery changed, and Kyou felt as if he'd popped his finger into a light socket. Then he blinked, he opened his eyes, and a memory emerged to answer his question.

_What am I like?_

The answer wasn't sufficient.

It couldn't be a decent answer, after all; it was just a piece of his whole memory, completely disconnected from everything else he'd known. It didn't make sense with his entire _life_. Kyou, sitting there, felt as if those feelings and remembered things may as well have belonged to a different person. But now, it simply rested in his mind, a comfortable dream that felt like it belonged.

Who was he? He wasn't the person he remembered being, and he wasn't the person from that single jigsaw memory

The memory, at that time, had belonged. The feelings -- they had belonged.

Not now. Not now.

_What am I like?_

- - - -

Kyou's eyes snapped from the edge of the bedsheet, but they didn't meet with his cousin's eyes. He looked at what Yuki was wearing, instead: a green shirt, with a mandarin collar. He was listening tothe word that still rang in his head, seizing his attention because in none of his memories, could Kyou recall Yuki speaking to him in such a familiar way. Not as 'the cat' or 'you' or even 'Kyou-san' or 'Kyou-kun'. It was a personal greeting. Like cousins should greet each other. Like good friends. Or lovers? _No, no, no._

He clutched onto the distracting words that tumbled out from Yuki's mouth.

"Kyou, you're... What are you talking about? You're the _the cat._"

There was a moment. Silent, when Kyou let the "distraction" sink in. When he let the meaning of his words become clear.Wen he let the hurt take root. It was a spiteful thing to say, a way to describe a person; But, it was the way Yuki had always been. Honest. Something hot boiled beneath Kyou's skin in a way he could hardly comprehend.

The words, the memories, it was just too much honesty.

He curled his fingers into fists. "Yeah, well, damn you! Go to hell! I don't care what you think. You're wrong! I'm not just the cat. Maybe _you_ want to make your whole life about the curse, but I'm not boring like you. I can-"

"Deal with it. I don't care."

Why did Yuki's opinion matter so much? It was pissing him off even _more_.

He took a deep breath, to respond, but midway through something rose up in his chest and he began to cough.

Yuki scowled at him. At his disease.

"You're the cat. So what? You're living your life about the curse. It's boring. You're predictable _and stupid_."

"I am _not_ stupid!"

"Then don't act like it. You're talking too much, asking too many stupid questions for being sick."

Kyou gripped the sheets tightly; he hated how Yuki's expression was so hard.

"It's not just me, you know," Kyou said back, slowly. "Your life is about the curse too."

"I've accepted it."

The orange-head rubbed at his raw, dry eyes for a moment. "Then what IS it, huh? You're not any better a person than _me_! You're - you're cursed, too!" Kyou took a quick breath, "So what's the big idea spouting off that nonsense about me being a cat? Neither of us had a say in being part of the zodiac."

"So what if we didn't have a say in it? It's still there. That's why it's a _curse_," Yuki replied.

"But aren't curses supposed to teach a lesson? I mean, come on, that would be completely stupid. Curse our whole damn family and not even have a reason? And why were the zodiac picked like they were; what's the reasoning for that?"

"Don't ask me."

"Well I'm sick of it. I'm tired of it being there."

"You're sick of a lot of things," said Yuki.

He didn't know. Yuki, he didn't have a clue about any of it. He probably didn't have to think about it as much. After all, he was the rat, the 'gifted' member of the zodiac, who was smart and clever and strong. Maybe if he defined himself as the rat, it was a positive thing. But for Kyou...

"You're the cat" meant that he was cursed, not blessed; "You're the cat" meant that he was socially unacceptable; "You're the cat" meant that it didn't matter how he acted or who he was or what he felt. Nothing - nothing that had happened or would ever happen - would matter in defining who he was. It wouldn't change who he was fated to be. He was always to be lost.

And now, if he was tired of the curse, who could blame him for that?

Kyou sighed and hunched over from his place at the wall. He chose not to say anything. Hoping that maybe Yuki would leave.

Instead, his cousin spoke again, his voice sounding as if he'd been struck by a strange thought. "Why do you keep expecting things to be different?" he asked.

The question was so doubtful that even Kyou could see him biting back on his tongue, once he had finished speaking.

"I already said it, I'm _sick_ of the curse," Kyou coughed into his sleeve, "I- I want things to be different..."

Hell, and _everything_ was different now. That damnably pleasant-feeling, terrible memory that wasn't, wasn't real, it meant that the world had broken from its' orbit and was hurling itself through space; broken; everything he'd ever known or expected _wasn't_ the same and there was no way he knew himself anymore, because, how could that have been him, doing - and feeling - those things? It was impossible. It wasn't natural. Things weren't the same.

Kyou found himself absorbed in the dark shadows on the walls. Illuminated beacons of the moon and the light from the hallway cast themselves on Yuki's face: cold, distant... Affectionately grasping onto his slender, lithe, and touchless body. The artificial light and the natural light tore at him from each side.

Things weren't the same. Even so...

Even so, he didn't remember what he had thought in the past. He knew one thing, _one_, and it didn't have to do with the curse at all. Were things an different?

"...But I'm not expecting much," Kyou finished.

Yuki turned around and walked towards the door. He wrapped his fingers around the doorknob and paused. "You shoudn't, you know," said Yuki, and at this, the moonlight let go of its' grip on his arms - and then Yuki was gone too. The draft resettled in the place where he had been, the encounter now only a fleeting memory, leaving Kyou to deal with feeling lost, and feeling things that he didn't remember feeling ever before in his _life_ and _oh my god, don't tell me that was a memory, because that never happened, it never happened, it's not even possible...I'm not like that..._

Kyou looked down at himself on the bed, his tousled sheets, his problem that _didn't exist_. It may as well have been a completely different person, doing all those things in the strange shadows in that memory he wasn't sure he knew. He wasn't sure that he knew those feelings about Yuki, either.

_And me, the one I know and remember? I... I hate him._

- - - -

Kyou couldn't sleep.

Not that he'd been trying to sleep anymore, he wasn't stupid after spending two hours turning restlessly in the stifling heat. It was frustrating, being sick. He had goosebumps all over his arms, and still his blood felt thick and warm. Kyou didn't get it. He didn't have a fever, but he'd been sweating, and he was hot, and sticky, and his throat was so tight that he needed a bath just the same.

He raised his arms and held the shower nozzle in his palms. Kyou closed his eyes, and felt. Sharp, tiny streams of water pummeled his skin. The fierce chill of water beneath chrome metal, practically vibrating in their forceful jets, led him to imagine that he held an incredible power in his hands. That he was strong somehow. It was an intense feeling, to freeze like this, to have goosebumps on his back massaged out by their very cause. He remembered the feleling of the quiet, stagnant hot springs. He hated it there. Kyou hated how the water there would soak into his skin, stagnant. He always felt so dirty when he would go to those bathhouses, and mostly, he hated being unable to sleep, being in the same room as _him_...

It made Kyou wonder what bathing under a waterfall felt like.

Cleaning, like this, felt good. It made him feel _clean_, even after all the soapsuds had slid down his legs and swirled into the drain. After the conditioner had long since left for the cold heat that made him both wet and dry. It wasn't steamy, the way Master would always tell him was best for a sore throat, but there were other reasons he needed a cold shower. More important things to take care of... A different kind of 'sickness'.

He wondered how strong a waterfall would make him.

- - - -

**An addled note from the authoress, sick with the flu:**  
"Review for a quick recovery?"


	11. The End of the World

So I took a bit over a week for the update this time, I'm sorry! I have so much makeup work from being that sick. It's pretty icky. But, that's how it goes and goes, and all is well now. Thankyou so much for your heart-warming condolences. Suffice to say that they were chicken noodles for my soupy soul... Or something like that. :)

I don't have too much to say about this chapter, except it's another long scene of dialogue between Kyou and Yuki. I think Kyou gets more involved in holding conversations than Yuki ever did, mostly because Yuki isolates himself and becomes introverted. Kyou sort of needs to talk more. He's so expressive... But here I go making all sorts of strange character assumptions! I'm helplessly dorky! Ah, well. Cheers for another chapter. Tell me your thoughts! Ta!

Rating: Pg-13. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest.  
Category: Angst/Romance  
Pairing: Kyou/Yuki  
Length: 11?

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese

_Chapter Eleven: The End of the World_

- - - -

Kyou slid a beige towel off the rack and pressed it against his face. He took a deep breath into the scratchy fabric, then, still with his face partially covered by the towel, sent a narrow glare at his cousin, hunched over at the sink.

"You damn rat," Kyou growled, "Why the hell did you hafta _come in_?"

"...There wasn't any steam," Yuki replied, then blinked, then wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "...How was I supposed to know that you were in here... taking a shower?"

Yuki was in a mussed-up striped shirt and dark green boxers, facing away. Kyou could see Yuki in the mirror, though, with his head bent down into the sink. The faucet was open and he occupied his hands with holding back his hair and splashing water onto his face. It must have been cool, because the rat let out some sort of shudder.

Kyou hissed.

"Well, for one thing, you should've known that someone was in here 'cuz the _door_ was locked."

"No, it wasn't."

"Yeah, it _was._ Why would I take a shower without locking the door?"

"Why would you take a shower in the middle of the night?" Yuki returned.

"At least I don't skip baths!"

"I don't have odor problems."

"Argh! Shut up you damned rat!" Kyou shouted, furiously setting the towel to work on his orange hair. Yuki chimed in a "stupid cat" in reply, before bumblingly returning to wash his face. Who knew why the hell he would feel like he needed to do _that_, right now, wondered Kyou. He wasirritating, just his simple presenceand his quiet splashes. He was making a lot of quiet noise. Distracting Kyou, who didn't want to _see_ him. And instinctually, Kyou felt the urge welling up inside of him, to yell at the rat, but he just didn't have the energy or the stomach to pretend that things were normal. So instead, Kyou did no thing. He sighed, and he ruffled a hand through his dampened hair; he withdrew his hand to find that the strands had given up tears onto his fingers.

He was so tired of this weird behavior between them.

He breathed heavily, with a small cough that originated from someplace near his heart.

"Hey. Rat. I want to know what happened."

Yuki looked up suddenly, water dripping from the tip of his chin and gathered in his eyelashes.

"...What?" he asked, a faint yawn heavy inbetween his breaths.

"You know what I mean. That thing - that I did - that made everything like _this_-" Kyou waved his arms, "- I want to know what I did that was so wrong. I - I don't feel guilty about it. But it must have been pretty bad, right?"

Yuki stared back at him with softer eyes than Kyou could imagine.

"I can't tell you," he replied. "About what happened."

"Oh c'mon. Tell me. You don't have to do something stupid like sparing my feelings, I can take it."

Yuki simply kept his fastened on Kyou's. When his voice came out, there was an unfamiliar tone in his voice that Kyou couldn't understand.

"No, Kyou... I _can't_ tell you."

"I get it. Maybe you're not allowed to say anything, but that's just-"

Yuki interrupted. "- Is it really that hard to put two and two together? You really _are_ stupid, aren't you?"

Kyou stopped. "I'm not stupid!" he responded, thickly. Something terrible clicked inside of his mind. If Yuki couldn't give an explanation... Was it possible... that he didn't have one?

"You can't tell me... because you don't remember, do you?"

Yuki's silence confirmed it, and Kyou visibly flinched when the goosebumps raised across his arms, chest, and shoulders.

"How the hell... You don't... You don't remember any of it? But - but you're the rat, you're supposed to be special or something! They're supposed to - I mean - They wouldn't actually - not to YOU -"

The corner of Yuki's mouth lifted, and Kyou found himself reminded of that strange memory, when Yuki had looked up from kissing his chest and his eyes promised more. It was the same half-smile.

Kyou felt his heart speed up.

"I don't remember why my memory was erased. But I remember when it happened," said Yuki, now looking away. "There was a flash of red light. Then, something grabbed ahold of me and shook me like the end of the world."

Yuki rubbed his hands over his forearms at this, and Kyou watched, keenly aware that his cousin had shivered. His hair, usually such a bright violet or purple or whatever that color was, it seemed muted in the luminous bathroom light. It was almost a grey color. And his eyes looked different, too; not soft anymore; they were somehow missing the emotions that appeared when Yuki wrinkled the edges of his eyes.

Kyou swallowed once. His adam's apple bobbed for a moment and somehow, it emphasized the dry scraping that he felt deep in his throat. He flicked his tongue over his lips. His mouth felt and tasted like cotton. And Yuki's coloring was desaturated, half-alive in bitter memory.

Kyou coughed to cover his discomfort.

"The end of the world, huh?" he said at last. Yuki looked up, suspicious; and he caught Yuki's eyes. Then, he smirked- it was almost a mocking expression, except playful. Harmless. Kyou could see those feelings reflected in the bathroom mirror. He could see his hair mussed up in all directions.

_For a moment, he could see Yuki, with his dark hair sopping wet and slipping over his eyes, sticking to the slick edges of his face--- _

_The shower water, pounding, pounding, drowning out the sound of their--- _

'Not now,' Kyou bit down upon his lip, and he dug his fingernails into his palms, 'Not now. Not now.'

"I don't know if the rest will come back. You know, regressive amnesia -- it tends to come back. But there's something different about haivng an electric shock procedure. You heard of those?"

Kyou shook his head, weakly.

Yuki continued, bending down his head in a near-conspirational manner, "Electroshock treatments were an old technique used to treat people who had psychosis. It was also rumoured to treat depression and other... illnesses. But a lot of people who didn't need the treatment received electroshock and it took away parts of their memories. They never got those memories back. I don't know if my theory is right about this, but... I wonder if Hatori's ability... is somehow similar to electrical shocks? It would explain why none of our memories have been coming back."

"That's not true," Kyou cut in, "I've - I've remembered some things. Nothing important. Just stuff like not being able to sleep and taking a shower. And some emotions, I think. But I'm remembering... more."

"You're lucky," Yuki whispered. Kyou barely heard it at all, and his eyes widened, full of incredulity.

"I've never been lucky. It's not the fate of the cat."

At the word _Cat_, Yuki's head snapped up. He took in a quick breath, and spoke quickly as he exhaled, "Do you remember anything that Akito would want you to forget?"

Kyou scowled and placed his hands on his hips.

"Come on! Akito only has people's memories erased if they find out about the curse. We're already cursed, so we know... about it..." A cough rose up to his throat, "... But we don't know... _why_ we're cursed. That - do you think that's why our memories were erased?"

Yuki's eyes flashed dangerously. "No, that wouldn't make sense.Why would Akito want us to forget about knowing the true nature of our curse? Shigure knows, and he hasn't had his memory erased."

The rat leaned his back against the wall, kicking up his heels to hold himself. "And, besides, if it was just a single discovery... We wouldn't have lost so _much_ memory, right?"

"Yeah. Probably," said Kyou, looking away; distracted.

_The water shower, drowning out the sound of a breathless moan. "Kyou, I **need** you."--- _

_He shuddered in return and wrapped his slick arms around Yuki's thin form. "Shh. I know."--- _

Kyou felt his leg twitch.

He barely knew what he was doing before he had walked out of the room, clad only in a towel. His cousin had called "Where...?" out behind him, but now he was in the hallway and out of sight, out of mind. Out of...

The hallway loomed around Kyou, stiff and detached and ungiving. He moved as if propelled by a motor, as if he had six cylinders and four of them were defunct from the manufacturer. He didn't bother to put on any clothes, simply crawling into bed. As Kyou placed his head on his pillow, he retraced the panels of wall and ceiling and the shadows that interrupted their edges. He closed his eyes. Sleep didn't come in spite of him. His hair still damp, the calluses on his feet still soft and stretched, he tried so hard not to think that he couldn't help himself from thinking.

Thinking that his memories _couldn't_ be real. And there was no way that Yuki would have had his memories erased. Akito would never let that happen to his precious rat. Kyou swallowed hard as he let the thoughts tumble inside of him. He had to be out of his mind. Even so, he considered - less sarcastically - about what Yuki had said.

The end of the world?

Kyou felt himself shaking.

- - - -

**The 1337 Hax0r (10:36 PM):**  
_"All your review belong to us."_


	12. Above and Beyond

And now you finally know the plot of the story! But the boys are stubborn, so there's plenty of space for life to happen.

I'm going to try very hard to finish writing this story. It is hard because I've been following Fruits Basket in Japanese and as you can imagine, I keep feeling that I'm going to need to put this fanfic into A.U.? So then I thought, it's time to make a decision. I will base this story off of the anime canon and take certain leads from the manga continuation, but, it will not follow exactly with manga canon. So it's an A.U. halfbreed, so to say, post-episode-26.

I am sorry for taking so long... In this update. I have been so busy, and I will be even more busy these next two weeks. But this is special to you so I refuse to falter in my updating! Now, as for _Review Replies_, I know I didn't give out many for the last chapter... I kept beginning writing something to everyone, but I kept revealing too much and then became very emotional and had to give up. So instead I will just say that each of you made me very happy. ;; I'm so glad that my build-up was a success, then! And now for one of the most awkward conversations I've ever had to write. It's been a really tough two weeks. I got two traffic tickets in one day, my friend hit a hobo while I was in the car with him, I got a stomach ache, I got four hours of sleep all weekend, I'm producing my media class's movie and editing our school newspaper. So being home to just write this story has been practically impossible. But, I'm trying very hard. Please put up with me. (teary eyes)... I still love you!

Rating: Pg-13. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest.  
Category: Angst/Romance  
Pairing: Kyou/Yuki  
Length: 12?

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese

_Chapter Twelve: Above and Beyond_

- - - -

Up there, he could see a lot of things. Not just swaying trees, coarse roof shingles, or even stars.

When Kyou closed his eyes, sometimes, he felt like he could keep seeing.

It was the first time of the day. There were two times when he would let the world pass around him; this moment was meant to be reflected and watched. So Kyou stood back for a moment and let the morning build up around him. It was something that he couldn't stop or change - something that Yuki didn't cause - something that Akito could never end. Every day, the sun _did_ begin. And birds would light across the sky in trails of song. The world would lose the darkness.

A part of him still clutched to the hope that one day, his entire life would lose the darkness.

But it was foolish, so he didn't tell anyone. He just thought about it as the crisp morning broke over the hilly horizon. A golden wave of sunlight stretched out to encompass the hill tops and the edges of the roof shingles. A breeze of chilling air wrapped Kyou in a loose and transient embrace.

It made his cheeks flush with heat and cold, as if he were embarassed by the provocations of life.

He coughed.

- - - -

It was the second time of the day.

Kyou wasn't out of breath, not really, since he hadn't had enough air to start with. His grip had nearly given out while he'd been climbing up the ladder. Now, he just laid back breathing heavily, shivering more strongly, his eyes desperately raking the sky for something worth wishing on.

When he'd toppled onto the cool cement, the nausea had actually burnt him for a moment, in his stomach lining and behind his heart. He closed his eyes, briefly, and willed the feeling to settle. Then, an impulse shot through his fingers, unsettling anything that was even _feeling_. Kyou opened his eyes and followed the impulse to forget, to remember, to forget, to remember, remember, _remember!_

His eyes scanned over the milky way.

The memory wasn't a stolen one, it was just a memory that he had lost. It was a story. A folk legend that someone had told him years ago. He couldn't remember the exact words any longer, but even so... he could recall the sounds of soft, gentle voice whispering in his ear. A woman's voice, gently giving him hope. Kyou saw her long hair in his mind. He had liked it, and he still did. Her hair, it was a good color. But her voice and her story, they had been far more incredible to him at the time.

Thinking about it now, Kyou knew that her hair had been far more amazing than her story had ever been. Her story was not fanciful or romantic. It was a story, a lie, and nothing more than a weak explanation for two stars that appeared to meet in the sky: the star-crossed lovers.

Kyou snorted as he recalled that first encounter with the Star-Crossed Lovers. It was a ridiculous legend, even though the woman's voice had stated with absolute faith, that even the Jade Emperor couldn't keep these two apart.

Well she was obviously very stupid to think that stars were anything but balls of gas, what kind of education had that woman had anyway? It was _embarassing._

And Kyou stared up at the inky sky.

He was feign to see either the constellations or galaxies or burning balls of gas that composed the legend of romance.

Even though he wasn't searching for romance or a legendary tale, Kyou still cast his gaze to the above and beyond. If he kept his eyes focused on the sky for long enough, he knew that the stars _would_ suddenly come into focus and he'd see what he otherwise couldn't.

Maybe he'd remember this summer's Tanabata festival for the Star-Crossed Lovers. Maybe, if he tried hard enough to stare at the skies, he'd remember something besides Tohru's exuberant smile, as she wore the yukata that Momiji had bought her, and the picnic she'd madewith the star-shaped onigiri. And the huge explosions from fireworks. And a strange feeling of happiness when he turned his head to the left and -

Kyou blinked back the tide of his subconsciousness. It receded and he hastily gathered as much of his memory as he could for safe-guarding and treasuring. Remembering these things was his dream.

Even Akito, the Jade Emperor himself, couldn't keep him from trying to catch those dreams.

A surge of confidence fluttered inside of Kyou's chest. He felt that he'd accomplished something, even if he'd been lying in bed all day, and on the roof all night, getting sicker and sicker.

Up until he remembered how he'd gotten sick after all.

Kyou didn't look at the sky after that. He was busy staring at his hands when he heard the rustle of the ladder moved from below.

- - - -

"You missed dinner again."

Kyou lifted his head minutely, and he caught sight of Yuki's mop-hair peeking from the edge of the roof. He stiffened."Yeah."

"If you don't eat, your body can't heal," stated the other boy, with a soft voice, and lifted himself up the top rung of the ladder.

Kyou watched him sharply. "What's the point? I'll throw it up, anyway," he said.

"You could at least _try_ to sit down with us."

"Look, you're not fooling me. It doesn't make a difference whether I'm there or not."

"That's not true," Yuki insisted.

"Maybe you're right. When I'm not there, it's better."

Yuki frowned and, now being on the roof several feet from Kyou, folded his legs underneath him. The cat turned his head abruptly. He watched Yuki position himself into a comfortable position, then lean so he could bend his head back and look at the stars.

"What the heck are you getting comfortable for?" Kyou grunted, not really willing to move and do something about it. But he had to complain; the strange magma had flooded his veins again. Even so, Yuki did not respond. He was silent; staring into space. Kyou shook with frustration.

"Hey, are you-"

"I've never been on the roof before," said Yuki, suddenly. And then he smiled with his eyes.

Kyou steamed. "Yeah, it's 'cuz this is _my place_! If you won't tell me why the hell you're here, would you just leave, damnit!"

Yuki sighed with a strained patience.

"God, I'll tell you. It's not important. It's just, just _something_," Yuki paused to search for words, "This morning, before school, I found out... why Hatori hasn't come to visit you; to treat your illness."

Kyou snapped to attention and fixed his eyes on his cousin.

"It's not like he needs to care about it, anyway," said Kyou. "His job is to treat the members of the zodiac, and I'm not a member, so it _figures_ he wouldn't care."

"Don't be stupid, Kyou. Hatori isn't here, because, he's come down with _something_, too."

Kyou folded his arms. "So you should probably leave or you'll catch it from me."

"I'm not too worried about it." Yuki shrugged, and then he paused, apparently remembering something.

"Spill it, rat."

"There were some girls at school... They called you on the phone this afternoon."

"What?"

"They hung up after asking for you, though..." Yuki trailed off. For a moment, the rat fished through his pocket and came out with a carefully folded note. A note? Kyou's eyes flashed. Crimson.

"And why are you so happy? It's pissing me off. It's-"

"It's Momiji. And Hiro. And Haru. They're - they're free." Yuki broke his mouth wide apart again, "They broke the curse."

Kyou stared.

"The bonds have been weakening for a while. This is the first time for all of the twelve zodiac to be alive at once. And you know Hatori's form, it was really supposed to be a dragon - not a sea-dragon. Something in the curse has changed. It's been corrupted. It's _still_ changing."

"But..."

"Kureno thinks that the curse could be ending. Rin's trying to break the curse, and Honda-chan... Shigure let her stay here because, mostly, he thought it would cause disturbances in the family... which could speed along the breaking of the curse."

"Stop it. Just - stop" Kyou cut in. "It's - It's impossible. We're not going to be freed. You already told me that -- it wouldn't happen --"

"I don't remember saying that," said Yuki.

Kyou rubbed his temples and stared, stormily into the distance.

"I don't... either."

- - - -

_ Moshi moshi! This is a message for Sohma Kyou from Minami Kinoshita, Mai Gotou and Mio Yamaguchi, but mostly from me! Can you guess who it is...? Yes, it's Mio! (laughter) So where were you yesterday? During clubs, I mean, you didn't show up at the classroom. You wouldn't dare skipping out on us? Besides, we had a special proposition for you- that's exciting, isn't it? Don't worry, though. We're not plotting something terrible, and Minami wasn't even planning on binding you up to a chair this time... Eto, what I mean to be saying is, I was calling because you weren't in clubs or in class for the past two days. There's a rumour that you're sick. If that's true, then please get better soon! It would be terrible for you to miss more classes or meetings. You can't let your grades drop, especially this soon before college entrance exams! There are only three months left! It's scary, isn't it? But that's my attitude for if you are truly ill... If you are not actually sick and you're just avoiding us, be prepared, Sohma Kyou. You can fight your past, your fate, and your enemies, but you can never beat them down forever. I don't remember where I read that, but isn't it spooky to think about? Maybe you should not fight your illness and instead let it run its' course. And whatever your feelings are towards us, do not fight them either. Just... let it be until we see each other again. It's inevitable, after all. _

- - - -

**Review, because the Jade Emperor can't keep them apart... but I still can. ;;**


	13. Pressed and Dry

Happy Valentines, everyone! I'm happy... I got so many kind reviews. And I tried to get back to more people this time. Hahaha, this new chapter will not have as much romance as you might find in high school hallways, but I hope it has enough to keep you wanting more? The next chapter will have the three memories... But I didn't think they were ready yet. I'm actually somewhat excited, but I don't know what to say about my writer's block. It's more like life block, actually. So thankyou for being so supportive. Until next time!

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese

_Chapter Thirteen: Pressed and Dry_

Rating: Pg-13. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest.  
Category: Angst/Romance  
Pairing: Kyou/Yuki  
Length: 13/18

- - - -

Hunger woke him.

At least, that's the way Kyou chose to define it: a twinge in his stomach, or somewhere around there. A feeling of need, of wanting, of sharp and nagging discomfort that grated against his thoughts.

Kyou untangled himself from the bottom sheets that had wrapped around his legs, and the comforter piled at the end of his bed. He could feel the dry sweat sticking to him from his dreams.

He turned to look at the clock.

Midmorning, Thursday, and the room felt empty around him. It was too lonely. Too much the same as before, and yet different in ways that didn't make sense. Like when he slept with his ear tucked against his pillow, and he moved, the air made a noise as if it were crinkling around him. Sometimes the noise seemed to come from beneath him, as if its' very essence was suffocating.

Kyou sat up and leaned into a wall of sunshine. He turned his head away quickly.

Blinking back the white dots in his vision, he found himself looking at his chest of drawers. His eyes scoured the top shelf, a comfortable vision of familiarity. A couple of books had been shuffled around, there was the wrapper of an energy bar, but besides that, it was normal. But, then again, his whole like _seemed_ familiar, except when he looked closely. He remembered opening his closet, and finding that - dress, and as disconcerting as the experience had been, it was important.

He'd needed to find that dress. Somehow, Kyou knew it meant something to his past, and since his past had _caused_ the future, in a way it meant that the dress was just as important now as it had been, then, during the time he couldn't remember.

It was a sudden clarity, then. Warm fingers of sunrays tickled Kyou's back and cast the rest of him in a long shadow. Through the thin papered windows, shadows of laundry on the line waved in the wind. prodding him to a decision that he couldn't appropriately define.

It may have been the sheets on the clothesline, fluttering in the wind, the edges of their shadows pointing everywhere but the floor. Maybe it was the hunger in his stomach. Maybe, it just happened because it had to, because the memories were too strong for him to stay in bed any longer.

It was some sort of ache that redefined the laws of nature, the feeling that drew Kyou from his bed at last.

Even so, the ache didn't go away. It had become stronger, more forceful now that he was on his feet, and Kyou, moved as if in a dream. He began to look, for answers, suddenly and uninhibited. He surveyed the top shelves of the bookcase, and then he rifled through his chest of drawers, missing nothing and scattering his socks, his boxers, his shorts and shirts... everywhere but where they belonged. All the clothes were familiar, all the way through the pile and to the bottom of each drawer. He couldn't decide if this comforted him or disturbed him. Even so, it was thrilling to look for answers. At least he was doing something.

The shelves weren't too different. They were filled with Shigure's books, anyway. The room had been Shigure's study, after all, and the varying thicknesses of the dust over their pages made Kyou cough several times. The only unfamiliar things that Kyou recognized were several study packets from school. He didn't feel like touching them.

He felt tired. Just from _standing_ and _looking_, and he didn't even want to look in his closet anymore. Kyou bit back his lip, frustrated. That meant he was getting sicker, didn't it? Wasn't he resting enough to get well?

Kyou collapsed onto his bed. He wrapped his arms around his pillow and buried his face into it. He squeezed it, and then he heard the noise.

The crunching noise of thin paper -- that he had thought to be the air -- repeated itself, but it activated a second sense. The backs of his hands had brushed against something and Kyou couldn't explain, specifically, what the feeling was. He let go of the pillow and sat himself up onto his knees. He moved back his hand and stared at his palms in wonder. Then, he moved the pillow aside.

Petals, petals, petals.

Three memories beneath his pillow.

He reached out to touch them.

- - - -

They were pressed and dry, when he put them inbetween the pages of some ancient tome. A bit of the petals' edges had curled in and broken off, in the time that they'd rested beneath his pillow. Kyou gathered the bits and carefully replaced them on the page.

Only once he'd closed the book could he remember how to breathe. How to speak. How to feel.

Rationally, Kyou came to a conclusion. Certain plants had to have healing capabilities, something supernatural about them, something that stirred up a part of human psyche that no one realized. These dry, golden brown petals, they smelled like food, mostly. Like some sort of soup had been mixed with his pillow and the essence of the earth. It wasn't the smell, however, that moved Kyou from his room, to the hall, to the kitchen, with his hand gripping the edge of the refrigerator door. He remembered finding the petals and then he was staring at the heads of cabbage and the rice cake and the endless jars and containers of food, and he had no idea why he was _there_.

It took several moments before Kyou unbent and slammed the refrigerator door shut.

"Kyou?"

The cat's head jolted and he turned it to the man sitting at the breakfast table.

His face was thick into the local newspaper, and his bangs rubbed against and molded with the rich, black color of the newspaper ink. Resting on the crest of his nose were a pair of reading glasses that had apparently slipped.

"Morning," said Kyou turned his head away and stuck it inside of the fridge.

"My, my. Feeling better?" asked Shigure.

Even if Kyou had felt like talking to his cousin, his head _was_ stuck inside of the refrigerator. He made a non-commital noise, not actually affirming his cousin in any greater way than by the manner in which he pulled out a container of milk, and drank.

- - - -

**The Authoress on 2 Hours Of Sleep Says:**  
_"If you write my history essay, I'll write you the next chapter. Right now. Seriously."_


	14. Sequences

This chapter has so many revelations! I think it will be very startling... Especially in the details. I'm pretty excited to be posting this one, actually! It really has only been several days since the last update, but this isn't exactly a chapter. That is my terribly odd excuse. Ahaha, instead, the truth is that I really felt like writing, and I did want to clarify that I don't need anyone to write my essay. That was actually a joke... Hahaha. But, I am hoping to make this an 18 chapter story in total. Let's just see what happens, then? Tell me how you like it?

Rating: Pg-13. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest.  
Category: Angst/Romance  
Pairing: Kyou/Yuki  
Length: Interlude/18

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese

_Chapter Interlude: Sequences_

- - - -

The room had faded around him. Petals, petals, petals.

Reality faded into a linear dream. The dream faded into a memory. A flash of light burst and distorted the shadows of the clotheslines on the wall, and they rose and they fell like waves. Kyou knew this, consciously, that the world and the light had shifted around him. But mostly, he _knew_ the petals and the longer he stared, the less real everything else seemed by comparison. Everything in the entire world but those three, glorious petals no longer mattered and blurred into a hypnotic life without meaning.

And then it became clear:

- - - -

_"Kyou-kun, is... is everything all right?"_

A fuzzy sequence with sharp edges. Time didn't move correctly from one state to another, but in jolts and clipping shocks of emotion.

Was everything all right? Was everything normal? Kyou clutched at his forehead and suddenly he--

_"I'm... I'm fine, Tohru. I just..."_

_A pause. _

_"I couldn't keep it down," he said, and she made some sort of choking, worried noise. He watched the shadow of her feet shift from the glowing crack underneath the door and above the bathroom tile. And then her feet tapped away, and then he turned to the toilet seat. One of his arms extended and the elbow bent crookedly to hold him up. Slowly, he bent himself over the throne. _

_"Not like that," he said, hoarsely. "Don't like that, **don't**..." And then he stuck his hand down his throat. _

And then it became clear.

- - - -

_Talking to raddishes. Chastising them with harsh and bitter words. _

_It would be so easy to mock Yuki for something like that, for speaking with plants, but somehow Kyou couldn't move. Crouched - hidden - exposed- even revenge didn't feel right, anymore. Whatever it had been, whatever caused those strong feelings that couldn't be placed into the regular continuancy of his emotions, it had to do with him and that weird smell. And- _

_The rat was talking, talking, talking. Until, suddenly, his murmuring voice raised too high, and he rose to his feet and his voice became filled with anger and something deeper. _

_There was brokenness, to make him scream like that; and even though before, Kyou had been there, somehow so enraptured that he'd been unable to move forward and attack. In spite of this he now couldn't move back to get away. Kyou just stared: enthralled, hypnotized, at the feet that trampled and the hands that flailed and threw and tore everything up, up, and the dirt that spewed forth from all sides and covered him, until it was as if the Prince had become one with the very ground. _

_And then Kyou realized that his shouts had become sobs, and he had crumpled into the grey, grey earth. _

And then it became clear.

- - - -

_Kyou was clutching him tightly at the wrists. _

_"You don't really mean it, do you..?" _

_"What-" _

_Yuki was pressed against the ground underneath him. His lips were parted and full... His hair was tousled and fell against the floor. And he was beautiful._

And then it became clear.

- - - -

_"How dare you," the woman seethed as she ambled towards him, so smoothly that it was cruel, "Do you really think that you can deny the curse? It's there, and there's nothing to be done." _

_"It doesn't have to be like that!" he shouted back. Then the woman flashed, and he fell to the ground, just - Just taking the hit, not even trying to care. _

_A stinging on his cheek, and then, her lowest voice, "Where did you get those books?" _

_"What does it matter about them? You're already losing us." _

_A terrible smirk, and he rubbed the side of his face with his hand. She stepped back, and throatily, her voice struggled from deep within, "No. You're lying. They're still... mine. He's still mine, isn't he? You're still mine, aren't you?" _

_He tossed her a resentful glare. A challenging one. She bent down, and crept to him. Her mouth moved up to his ear, and with a moist and shaking breath, she murmured, _

_"Cat, I will never let you love him." _

And then it became clear.

- - - -

**The good witch, Zeniba, at her spinning wheel. She says with a smile:**  
_"Memories are never completely forgotten, even if you don't remember it."_

Leave me a review, and I will not forget it.


	15. It Wasn't

Wow. It's been a while, I know. But here it is, at last, after all those terrible things have settled down in my life. Now, you might wonder about where this chapter comes from? It follows after the past interlude (Sequences) within the same day as Chapter 13 (Pressed and Dry). So basically we're continuing where we left off, with plenty of angst and questions about why the heck? everyone is acting like they are. Well, that's what the story's meant to be like. Though there are a couple of amusing things in this chapter. Like Shigure crying over spilt milk. Thank you so much for the support in the last several weeks, your reviews really uplifted me and helped me to make it through. Also I want to give a huge THANKS of adoration to Kitty-chan, who drew the most beautiful fan-art for Plants/Ache. So this chapter is partially dedicated to her!

Rating: Pg-13. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest.  
Category: Angst/Romance  
Pairing: Kyou/Yuki  
Length: 14/18

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese

_Chapter Fourteen: It Wasn't_

- - - -

The ensuing silence and rustle of newspaper folding made Kyou shiver, and he found himself ruffling back the orange clumps of his bangs. Something nervous urged him to scratch his left arm, above the elbow. He resisted the impulse, even though a vein was popping out from his temple.

He couldn't stand it. The _stare_ on his back, from Shigure, whose eyes were fastened on him. He couldn't bear the plethora of smells in the kitchen, which Kyou couldn't ignore; all the smells felt too sharp, all the feelings felt so much more real now that he knew exactly who he was and where and why. He knew why Shigure was watching him eat with poorly concealed shock, and he couldn't stand it. Being paranoid and not knowing if Shigure knew, and thinking 'it must be obvious that I remember', and thinking about how he wanted to eat for once in his life.

"What are you looking at?" he asked, taking a swig of milk. The dog put down his cup of hot tea, folded down his paper, gave Kyou a pointed once-over, then grunted.

Kyou drew in his breath slowly. "_What?_"

"Nothing, nothing. I still can't believe my eyes," Shigure shook his head and made a tinkling laugh, "It's such a treat to see little Kyon-Kyon, downstairs, eating breakfast!"

Kyou scowled. "It's not like a big deal or something. You're eating breakfast, too!"

"But of course I'm downstairs, eating breakfast, like always, same old same old," Shigure rambled on. "But Kyon-kyon hasn't gone to school in a week, and it's just -- I haven't seen him during any of Tohru-kun's lovely meals -- so now, I'm just overwhelmed with happiness!"

Kyou muttered imperceptibly to himself, something that sounded vaguely like 'shut up'. Pausing, Shigure's eyes wandered into the distance, drifting for a moment, then snapped back to his younger cousin with a gleaming, wide surprise.

"...But factually, I haven't seen Kyon-Kyon at all for the past week. It makes one wonder if perhaps... he just... _died_ up in his room. In my study. All alone and starving. It would have been a terrible, lonely death. Almost as terrible as his smell-"

"Quit imagine it already!" Kyou shouted, and slammed the refrigerator door shut. Then, as an after-thought, he added, "And don't call me Kyon-Kyon."

Shigure snickered. For the second time, though now with flushed cheeks, Kyou raised the milk carton to his lips. At the very moment before Kyou began to pour the milk into his mouth, Shigure shot up and _yelped_. Kyou jerked his arms back and the milk went flying through the air, and by that point Kyou realized that his reflex was unnecessary, but it was too late to undo the damage.

It was a cruel moment, when the carton fell through the air, milk pouring out in a ribbounous fountain before it.

When the moment passed, milk had splattered across Kyou's shirt front and onto his face. The carton lay in a murky puddle on the tile flooring of the kitchen. Taken aback, Kyou paused and let the white beads trail down his cheeks and drip onto the floor. He opened his mouth and the sour taste of milk slid from his lips to his tongue. For a moment, he was silent and confused. Then the moment passed, and Shigure began to blubber.

"You spilt milk everywhere. All over my clean, beautiful kitchen..." he hiccuped, "...But don't cry... I'll just do the crying. For my... house..."

Kyou's cheeks reddened. "What are you, ten! It's just milk!"

Shigure's wail hit a high note, and he made a motion as if to wipe his nose, "And to think that I had lived in such domestic bliss before you came downstairs. You should feel ashamed of yourself, Kyou."

"You should get a job!" Kyou retorted. A bead of sweat tricked down his neck, and he felt conspicuous with milk that had soaked through the front of his shirt. His hand held the jug out at an odd angle to his hips.

Shigure stared at the ground for a moment, then met Kyou's eyes plainly.

"You're such a bad-tempered ghost. I wish Kyou were back," he dead-panned.

"What the hell? I'm not a ghost!" Kyou jumped to his feet. "And... And I'm sick of putting up with this! I'm going back upstairs!" he concluded, turning around and stalking past his seated cousin, who had something of a pout on his face.

"You're not even going to clean up the milk you spilt?" he complained.

Kyou turned around and flung out his fists. "Hell no! It's your fault for yelping."

"So it was, so it was," Shigure laughed airily, "But I couldn't help it. I merely saw an advertisement for Aya's new _After-midnight clothing line_ in the paper. They're all very becoming fabrics, wouldn't you like to see?"

"Hell no," Kyou yelled thickly, his voice choking as he saw a pair of dirty gloves on an overhang above the _genkan_. He wondered who had gone to the secret base, and why, and how could it be Yuki, when he didn't like to wear gloves. It was the itch of drying milk that pulled him back to the present, not the crunch of Shigure eating toast or the ding! of the rice-cooker that steamed from the lid.

- - - -

He wasn't ready to eat.

Not yet, anyway. The milk felt cool and heavy inside his stomach and he didn't want it there at all. There was a fucking-loud-pounding in his head and if the adrenaline didn't go away soon, just go away - he didn't know what he'd do. He'd go crazy, or crazier; he had to be insane if his life was true, and it was, and he'd done those things he'd regretted and had been better off not remembering except, now that he did, things made more sense and things made less sense all at once. He knew why Yuki was acting the way he was, and he had no idea why Yuki was acting the way he was.

It made him less lost. It made him burn somewhere inside.

All the pain and all the memory, it made him fucking nearly _burst_.

Kyou swiped at the perspiration on his forehead. He tugged at the edges of his shirt and pulled it over his head. He half-folded it into something of a sticky wad, then tossed it into the laundry basket beside his bed. Goosebumps rose on his arms as he dreaded taking out the laundry again, for reasons he couldn't explain even with his regained memories.

It wasn't like he could do anything. Except, get mad. At himself. Or Yuki, but he didn't _know_ what he'd done - and Kyou damned himself for knowing, because how could he get mad at the person who he _loved_? And how was it even fair, that he'd cared so damn much about the rat and let himself love him, love him so much that he actually could not forget him, even when that rat _didn't_ actually love him because he didn't remember - How was that _fair_? How was that _love_?

He stood up from his bed and he sat down, with a frustrated growl that turned into a yell that turned into quiet.

It wasn't.

It wasn't love anyway.

- - - -

When Yuki came home, Kyou knew it, and it tingled under his skin. He sat up, tangled in his sheets and the salty, sticky sweat of memory that dampened his skin, and he listened to the outside breeze rushing in through the open door, and he listened as it shut off tightly and the air currents oscillated in the stifled room. The sensory madness didn't bother him, like it had before he remembered that he wasn't completely human but his feelings were human, too human. Now he knew himself - and even though it would hurt to go through his self-revelation again - this time, it wouldn't be right to stay in bed and hide. Or ignore it. Or fight it.

After all, fighting made him sick. It had made him make himself sick.

Even now he felt his stomach churning the milk into cream, because Yuki had come home and he didn't sense _love_. But he didn't sense hate, either. Kyou opened the door to his room and called out to his cousin from across the hall before he could stop himself, and stop blushing, damnit.

If the prince had noticed that his cousin had called him by his name, he didn't say anything. But he _did_ respond. His eyes narrowed and seemed to darken,and he turned his slight body towards Kyou. His hair was loose and the bangs were around his face, crowning it. Softly.

"What?"

Kyou swallowed, hearing that tone. It was a forced civility, if even. It was barely an acknowledgement that Kyou had said anything. He knew. It meant, "I don't have time for you;" it meant, _"I hate you I hate you I hate you"_; it meant something worse than nothing.

Kyou would've shut the door, right then, and gone back to sleep, so that the shadows would fall back into familiar patterns on the bedroom walls. He would've let the book sit, collecting dust with its' white petal-potpourri, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. His hand trembled on the doorframe. He couldn't back out.

Not when he remembered the phantom smell of shungiku crysanthemum, or the soil clinging to Yuki's hands, a husky voice that hitched, and arms around him.

_Arms around him_.

Kyou swallowed down, again, on the bile in his throat. And he ignored the things that were there and remembered the things that weren't.

"I found something," he said, and fastened his dilating eyes on Yuki's steady ones. "I found something that was yours."

- - - -

**The French Pastry Lady says:**  
"Wiz ze spring tat brinz le oopdete, iz ze review tat for le mademoiselle Lanie, makez ze happy. Le happy iz ze mo good fo chapitres, non?"


	16. They Snap Apart

Sorry about another long wait for the update. I just went through a week of trauma that really goes beyond words... I really redefine the term "accident-prone". It's scary. I was nearly raped and was involved in a high-speed auto crash. It's been really hard getting back to this story when my life is so immense... But I love it, and I love all of you who have been so awesome in reviewing. So thank you much! I'm sorry for missing most of the last round of review responses. THIS TIME I WILL GET TO ALL OF YOU! For real:D It's just... you know. Here's the next chapter, and it's a bit rough around the edges. But I've just got to write the rest! Even I'm getting excited about what's happening...!

Rating: Pg-13. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest.  
Category: Angst/Romance  
Pairing: Kyou/Yuki  
Length: 15/18

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese

_Chapter Fifteen: They Snap Apart_

- - - -

"That's it..?"

Yuki turned over the pamphlet in his pale hands and flipped several pages casually with his thumb. Standing in front of his cousin, looking down at the pages upside-down and in shadow, Kyou frowned. His fingers twitched from beneath the folding of his arms as he waited for his ex-nemesis, his ex-lover, his now-_everything_ to speak. When Yuki did, it was with a distasteso strong that it made Kyou's scowl flicker.

"You brought me here for _this_? It's just an old study packet."

"No," Kyou's impulse took charge and he defended the book as if he knew what it was, as if it _did_ matter. "I just have this feeling it's important-"

Kyou avoided his cousin's eyes and tried to gather his thoughts. If he looked at Yuki, there was no way that he could keep it together, not with them standing this close together, he'd just have to _touch_ him. Make sure that he, at least, was real and present.

"- You've written weird things on some of the pages that aren't math sets. I can't read your rat-scratch, but maybe they were notes on something important. I think it's important. I'm not sure why, but... You-"

_--shoved it into my hands before Hatori's car came to take us away forever--_

"-must have misplaced it. I found it on one of my bookshelves. But I know it's yours."

Worldessly, Yuki re-opened the booklet and rustled the pages to reveal a geometric pattern. The problem set, next to the geometric figure, stood out with its' heavy inking and white, fresh paper surface. The edge of the page, however, didn't contrast so sharply, but instead it lay as a canvas of meandering white and lead greys. Kyou looked at the tiny pencil scratchings that littered the problem set and Yuki, Yuki's eyes were narrowed and unseeing. Kyou was taken aback when the control faltered, for a moment, and some dark emotion swept across his cousin's face. His hair hung out, over his eyes and his forehead, soft, violet, and smooth. Remembering what it was like, Kyou dug his fingernails into his palm. How could he be so stupid to get caught up in that? He swished the bitter thought in his mouth like a bad taste: The past didn't repeat itself, anyway.

"I remember writing this," said Yuki suddenly.

And that was what Kyou had been waiting for. He snapped his attention from Yuki's hair to Yuki's arching eyebrows and to his chilling, burning, purple eyes.

"Yeah?" asked Kyou, nearly breathless, "So what does it say?"

Kyou swallowed and tasted the thin residue of milk on the back of his tongue. Yuki did not reply; he bent his head closer to the writing.

"What's it say?" Kyou pressed, "Tell me, you damn rat, why's it important?"

"I don't know."

It was impossible. With that tone of voice then, that tone of voice now, Kyou picked it up immediately: "You're lying!"

Yuki's response came slower.

"How would you know?" Yuki's head came up and he glared through a shield of glossy bangs, "how would you _know_?"

"I just got a feeling."

"Don't trust those," Yuki hissed, and dropped the pamphlet on the ground. He left, closing the door so sharply behind him that it shut out the light before Kyou could respond. And then the room was darker and the air colder and thicker. So thick that Kyou couldn't breathe it without a familiar, strange coat of saliva on the backside of his tongue.

It made him sick. Made him so sick that he was making himself sick.

Kyou didn't deny himself the feelings that came inside. He'd denied himself before everything had happened, so somehow he was satisfied with the knowledge of warm feelings. He remembered the warm feeling, and this new ache felt like it. When Yuki walked out, the ache was the same feeling as before: all-consuming, mind blowing... and yet, different. This was just, more painful. Like defeat. Like fighting, even though he and the rat weren't fighting anymore.

He swallowed down the pain in his stomach. The ache kept swelling up.

- - - -

Dinner.

Kyou hadn't planned on attending it, and wasn't sure how he'd ended up with steaming food in front of him. Taking his chopsticks from the place mat, Kyou held the utensils from the top and broke them apart down the middle. They came apart evenly, a good luck sign. It nearly made up for the conspicuous weight of the beads on his wrist.

He stuck a mouthful of rice in his mouth.

"Fast food?" he asked, accusingly. Shigure gave an almost regretful grin. At that moment, Kyou hated how his smiles didn't match his feelings or his actions. It was creepy!

"I guess I can't fool you, can I?" Laughed the dog, folding his hands on his lap with an expression of absolute content, "Tohru-kun made something for us and put it in the fridge, and I put it on the stove. Then Aya called, and then suddenly the whole kitchen was filled with heavy black smoke! I had no choice but to dispose of Tohru-kun's beautiful meal and go find a weaker, much less love-filled replacement..."

"Ah," said Yuki, "I see."

Shigure blinked. "See what?"

Kyou looked up from his food as well, still chewing, his face blank.

"You needed an excuse to leave the house," said Yuki. Weak laughter escaped Shigure's lips for half a second before his younger cousin continued, "I found Mii-san, your editor, looking for you everywhere this afternoon. I wondered where you had went."

"I left a note," said Shigure, his eyes growing increasingly forlorn.

"I left her in your study," replied Yuki, taking a long sip of his tea. "It wouldn't surprise me if she was still in there..."

Shigure shot to his feet.

"I'll be back!" he sang, loudly, then dashed off to the porch. The shoji panel clacked behind him and Yuki sighed.

Suddenly, Kyou became immensely aware that he was alone with his cousin and piles of food between them. He wasn't sure how to handle this new interaction: there were no knowing looks shared between them or hungry glances or fighitng, or even a complete absence of _food_ as the center of attention, and now Kyou wasn't sure if he was getting sick again from what or what or what.

And by the time he thought he'd figured it out, Yuki had spoken to him. To him, the no-good cat.

"I re-read the study booklet," he said, setting his tea cup onto the table. Kyou wordlessly turned his head towards the prince and waited.

"The notes were mostly page numbers and book titles. Well, journal entries, mostly. Of our Sohma ancestors from long ago -- about the curse. And some other things."

"What about the curse?" asked Kyou sharply, his ears pricking up and his blood strangely warm. He remembered talking about this, before. On a Saturday. And-

_"Yuki,"_ he had breathed so softly. _"I don't... I don't think you should try to go and do this. Just let everything be like it is."_

_And in his heart, he was scared. **Because I don't want you to leave me. Alone. **_

_"I have to see if it would work. Not just for me, but for all of us," Yuki insisted, but Kyou shook his head._

_"No," kneading his fingers softly into his cousin's flesh, he'd continued, "You can't even get to the place where He keeps those documents. There's no way you can find out those secrets. Akito won't allow it."_

_"I'm not scared of Him," said Yuki flatly. His eyes burned into Kyou, who let go of Yuki's forearm as if he were scalded. He was, and he averted his eyes. _

_"Fine," he said, "Fine. I guess you wouldn't care about how I feel about it, would you? I'm just that stupid fucking cat-"_

_"No. Not just 'the cat' for much longer," said Yuki._

- In the present, the rat's eyes burnt in a more quiet way. But they were bright enough to remind Kyou that he was still alive and maybe he didn't have all of his memories, but he was still the one he loved and who he'd _hurt_.

Yuki bowed his head, staring at his dinner and his thought came aloud. "There might be a way to break it. The curse. That's what the references are for, I think. What else would they be for? I told you I remembered writing this, and I do. I had broken into Sohma house to find it out."

Kyou blustered. It was the same fear from before, but worse, so much worse, because if Yuki could remember writing the notes, then what else did he remember? He didn't remember what they'd shared, did he? If he did remember, was he ashamed? And if he didn't remember, what if he _had_ gotten close to breaking the curse - what if there was still a way to break the curse - and if he did break it - then Yuki _could_ hug girls, then Yuki _could_ have relationships with them... and why wouldn't he want to do that?

Kyou wondered, faintly to himself, what good was _he_ to Yuki, who didn't remember that they were responsible to each other?

There wasn't any good in him. There was no reason for him to even think about it. To even try loving him. Like he'd said he'd loved him before.

Kyou's chopsticks clacked together. He paused and gazed at them and past them. It worked for chopsticks, being bound together - separated - and still, they functioned together. But humans weren't chopsticks. Humans were so much more than wood or animals or anything.

That's why he'd said it. It was that selfish fear that made him tell Yuki not to go in and research; _No. Nonono_, Yuki Sohma _couldn't_ break the curse. It would break them apart forever - and it would break Kyou forever - nothing was worse than that.

And Yuki breaking was even _worse_ than nothing.

"All those notes, all that writing... Did it tell you anything about curing the curse? Does it _work_? Huh? It didn't do you any good, did it?" Kyou's voice dripped with some undefinable anger, "Tell me damnit! Did they do what they said they would?"

_It's just, those notes inside the geometry sets... they had cost me everything. What you found out in those notes had broken us apart forever; snapped our binds apart on an indented groove. It's not fair and even though I deserve it, you didn't deserve to be hurt, Yuki. I hurt you and I hurt you, but that wasn't my fault either. And now -- I just don't know anymore._

Yuki's eyes showed nothing. Kyou remembered feeling like worse-than-nothing and he remembered Yuki being broken into something worse-than-nothing.

Kyou squeezed the chopsticks in his hand tightly, so tightly until they snapped.

"You stupid cat," scowled Yuki, and that's how it happened. The disdain in his voice - the awkward memories - the feelings - the need to touch his perfect skin - something snapped inside of Kyou and the growl came from somewhere deep in his throat.

"I just don't know anymore!" he shouted, and it was true.

- - - -

**The Japanese Chef Natsumi-san says in fractured Engrish:**  
_"You want more soy sauce? Peppers? What? Lemons? Okay, you add tip review yourself... I just do the more story..."_


	17. Airing Out the Laundry

I have nothing left to say... I honestly have no excuse for waiting this long to update... But I can't do anything about it now. There were several things that turned my life inside out, as I think y'all can imagine. Life is sometimes too big to escape. But thankyou for encouraging me to do my best ;). All of your positive feedback makes me laugh so much, I don't know why! My goal for this story is to have it uploaded fully by the end of June. During July, I will be in Japan! So when I return, I hope to be able to write more culturally accurate fanfiction - more realistic - and I also want to pick up some really great Fruits Basket merchandise. Oh, and if anyone's interested, I've put together a playlist of songs that were inspirational/instrumental to my writing this story (and Plants); if you'd like to know what it is I'll send you a copy. Some of the songs are really obscure, though! If a lot of you are interested I might just post the songs on a webpage or somesuch. Alright -- don't forget to review -- and enjoy the update!

Rating: Pg-13. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest.  
Category: Angst/Romance  
Pairing: Kyou/Yuki  
Length: 16/18

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese

_Chapter Sixteen: Airing out the Laundry_

- - - -

There was a crack in the doorway. Like it was a magnet, or as though it were bait on a reel, Kyou found himself drawn towards it with uncontainable curiousity. In the back of his mind, he realized it was dangerous to look beyond the slit of light that led to his cousin's room. But, he placated himself, desperately, that it was an observation, not an invasion of privacy, an urge that wasn't instinctive as much as it was expected in this situation. So what if it was inapproriate to watch people when they didn't know it, so what? The air of the hall was thick, humid, stagnant. Anyone who walked by and found the door like that would've done the same thing. It wasn't his fault that the quiet, empty hallway amplified the vibrance of every sense outside of it. The crack in the door of Yuki's room had glowed too radiantly to be ignored. It was too _curious_.

It was hypnotic, too; the sounds and the sights that he could barely see from behind the bundle of shirts and pants that he'd gathered in his arms. But Kyou watched until his eyes glazed over and he listened. He listened to the stifled pants of breathing, the result of some aerobic madness that had seized the cursed rat. Through the crack of the door, Kyou held back his breath.

He listened so hard that it drowned out the bundle of thoughts that he'd been carrying, and he forgot about the laundry that was jumbled in his arms. He didn't think. He _couldn't_ think. He just watched, stealing the moment and sealing it with a deeply delicate gaze.

And he watched the turns of Yuki's wrists carefully. And he smelled, too. The scent of fabric softener tickled his senses, all at once revealing a memory of an old one: unfolding shirts, unfolding pants, folding hands. Them, together. Laundry.

In the shadows of the doorframe and the hall light clashing against the softer glow of the bedroom, Kyou stood, unmoving, and thought of how he'd seen this before. How he'd _felt_ this before. He remembered Yuki tearing apart his room, searching for something he'd hidden, with tremulous grey eyes and cheeks flushed --

-- and he remembered that time when Yuki had been searching for that hidden part of _him_, underneath the deception of clothes.

Kyou stumbled backwards, suddenly overwhelmed by an inexplicable, stifling heat that burnt beneath his cheeks and down his neck. He pulled the clothes tighter in to himself; suddenly overwhelmed by the too-sharp sound of his pounding heartbeat.

He stumbled backwards.

The emptiness broke with his clumsy footfalls and his quick and shallow breath. His mind raced. His gaze darted across the dimly lit hallway, refusing to settle on anything and certainly not the _light_. He could still see the memories clouding the corners of his mind, and his eyes. He wanted to be fearless, to face this challenge - and just respond to it, good or bad, as long as he did something. But instead - like always - he was afraid, and resentful of his own pointless fear. He wanted to be _fearless_.

A voice from the past flickered to the forefront of his mind. _I want to be... more like **him.**_

Kyou's back was now pressed against the opposite wall and the crack in the door taunted him from across the hall. He shook his head, knowing that there were some things he could never accomplish. He would never be able to have that unnatural grace. He would never be able to have that wit and never run out of things to say. He would never be able to stand up against Akito. He couldn't even stand up to his own memories and his feelings that were so strong that it scared him.

He was afraid.

And he was so damn afraid of _Yuki_, he was sure that it would take him over if he wasn't loud enough to scare it away.

- - - -

When Kyou slid the door open to his room, he didn't expect to hear a lilting song coming from the balcony. Kyou turned his head to the soft voice. Tohru, facing away from him, had two clothing pins in her hands and stood on a chair. She leaned slightly, and a wind tilted her like a sapling tree. Her song - punctuated by an exclamation of surprise, when the wind pushed a fluttering, white bedsheet into her face - was sweet and happy in the cloudy sky. _She's making me soft,_ Kyou chastised himself lightly. Even so, a smile tweaked at his lips.

It became a full-fledged smile when the wind pushed her off of her chair and into the laundry basket.

Perkily, she popped up and turned around to face Kyou.

Then he remembered the awkwardness and the day grew silent.

"Kyou-kun," she asked softly, her eyes darting from her feet to his face in awkward intermissions, "Kyou-kun, I'm sorry - I hope you don't mind - could I do my laundry here?"

Kyou looked up to Tohru, startled. He blinked in the afternoon sunlight and his mouth opened hesitantly. "Uh, no," he said, pausing for a moment, unsure of what else he ought to say. He doubted that there was anything left _to_ say. Or maybe it was the other way around; maybe, there was a lot he needed to say to Tohru but... He wasn't sure he could bear it, hurting her again.

returning to rest - propped up by his elbow, with his head in his hand. She walked past him and her sharp shadow moved on his skin, mingling with the soft-shadow-edges of the laundry. Kyou's eyes followed the invisible link between the shadows and the white sheets on the line.

The hair in Tohru's ponytail whipped around her face. She smiled through the strands that caught at the edges of her upturned lips.

"I'm sorry."

Tohru looked over to Kyou, who was sitting at an angle that concealed his face from her. Even so, she could see the blush that had crept from his face to his neck, and the hand that partially concealed his mouth, as if he was embarassed by his mouth rather than his words.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about! I'm okay, it wasn't, um, a question, you really didn't need to say anything anyway. But it's okay because I understand and the curse-"

"No," Kyou interrupted, his voice soft. "I'm _sorry_. I can't. Ever."

She bit her lip. "Okay," she whispered. "But Kyou-kun... I just want you to be happy, so much. You have to know that. I understand if I can't do that, I'll never be able to understand everything about you and the curse. I know that, but, it's important to me that you find that person. And whoever it is... I'll be okay. As long as I see you smiling."

Her pale fingers unsnapped the clothespins from the line. She cradled the soft linenes in her arms and brought them tightly to her chest. A far-away smile came to her lips as a breeze picked up. "This one time, when I was young, some girl from my school had been making fun of me for being gullible. We were supposed to be friends, so she would tell me to do all these things and I always would do them.

"Then one day, she told me that my Sensei would be very happy if I put fish sauce on all her food, because she liked fish sauce. So when the sensei left the room one time during lunch, I tried to surprise her and put the sauce on her box lunch. Well, a little while later, her face began to get very red. Little blisters started appearing on her skin and at first, it was funny. But then, suddenly, she couldn't breathe anymore. She dropped on the ground and suddenly everyone was scared.

"That girl and her friends immediately blamed me for what happened to Sensei. I remember the school principal calling my mom from his office. When she got there, I just couldn't stop crying.

"I told her through my tears that it wasn't my fault and that I was so sorry and thought that those girls hated me for what I did. And But you know what she told me, Kyou? She said, 'Tohru, Tohru. I know that you weren't trying to hurt anyone. But if you want people to like you, you have to be honest with them. Tell them how you really feel. I know that they'll appreciate you for who you are and they won't tease you like that again.'"

Tohru smiled with tears in her eyes. "My mom was right, Kyou-kun. I went to those girls and they never teased me after that. And, one of them, is now very important to me. So you see... Sometimes... It can hurt, trying to find a person who wll make you happy. But it's worth it in the end. So, Kyou-kun... please try to find that person."

Kyou could barely speak.

A crack of sunlight broke from the edges of cloud-cover. In the same moment as Tohru and Kyou squinted, and Tohru lifted her hand to shield her eyes, beneath them, the shoji door clicked and was rolled open. Several blinks later, Kyou refocused his eyes to see Yuki Sohma appear in view of the balcony. His eyes widened, stretching the bright spots across his field of vision. Tohru, also, turned to follow him with her eyes, watching as he made his way into the forest. Kyou sucked a breath from the suddenly-thin air around him and tensed. Something about simply seeing his cousin had calmed him and alarmed him all at once. He didn't know whether he felt relieved or riled by the sudden sight of the person who he...

Kyou snapped his head back to Tohru. He reddened, realizing that she'd been watching him. For a moment he tried to understand what her eyes were telling him. Then, it clicked: _Of course... It's Tohru. Tohru, who **accepts** me._ Kyou opened his mouth in an unspoken question, Tohru gave a nod of approval, her mother's words still heavy on her tongue.

Kyou placed a hand on the balcony rail and swung himself over it. The moment before he let go, he saw Tohru raise her hand to her face and wipe away a tear that didn't fall.

The sky, murky with clouds, let out a moment's hope, and the white flags waved in the wind.

- - - -

**The authoress, in a fit of maniacal laughter, assumes a vampiric accent.**  
_"I veel droop Akeeto eentoo eh peet oov aceed iv vyu don levioo! Eetz breeliont!"_


	18. Gardens for Growing and Forests for

Writing this next story from the distant island of Japan, I'm amazed at how many subtle intricacies I have found to enhance the realism of this story! It's incredible how the strangest things are different here, and yet, same... Of course, the biggest issue has been finding time to write! I don't think I can be blamed.. Umm... There are sort of other things on my mind (read: shopping) and I have personal issues (read: need more money for more shopping). You wouldn't believe the stores they have here (read: isles of Shonen-ai comics)... It's pretty great (read: can I stay forever?). Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, as always, blah blah blah, it's nearly over... and, I'm so sad about it! For the past year I keep thinking of this story as I've written it and now it's nearly ending? Well, maybe there will be a one-shot sequel. googly eyes

Rating: Pg-13. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest.  
Category: Angst/Romance  
Pairing: Kyou/Yuki  
Length: 17/18

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese

_Chapter Seventeen: Gardens for Growing and Forests for Fighting_

- - - -

The scent of dew and earth woke up the remembering, feeling part of him; urging him to run after Yuki. It stirred when his bare feet tore into the clumpy earth and pushed up the soft dirt inbetween his toes. The thick air of late afternoon stretched across the tangles of forest before him. He felt caught in it. The clutching shrubs and lilypads and ivies. It felt significant, somehow, whe he could break free from them and run unhindered by them.

It didn't take long for him to find his cousin on the trodden path to the secret base. Kyou skidded to a stop, and watched as Yuki made his way down the hardened earth, walking steadily with a pair of coarse, pilled gloves swinging in his left hand. An irrelevant thought struck him. _He walks like..._ Kyou squinted as his cousin walked into a patch of sunlight. _Like he's a prince... Like I can't even touch him._ When he cleared his thoughts, Kyou couldn't be sure of which part of his thought made Yuki the true or figurative.

Kyou swallowed and he was struck with the absurd notion that for a moment, he'd forgotten how to breathe. He leaned back and steadied himself against a gnarly tree trunk. It grounded him; the bark was rough and flaked off in crumbling chunks onto his back. The sharpness of the observation stuck out vividly in comparison to his true focus, the boy who was all soft lines in the sunlight and shadow, in the forest further away. It was this distance that reminded Kyou that he was still far enough away that if he left, Yuki wouldn't know that he'd been watching him. He could still leave, without saying anything. He could - But he _couldn't_--

Kyou's eyelids came down, tightly sealing his eyes. He slumped.

_It's too much,_ the thought was punctuated by the furious thumping of his heart. _It's too much hurt._

Always, in these times, he found himself placating to a war inside of himself. He hated how brash he was at moments and how he couldn't decide at all at other moments.Tohru's voice rose into the forefront of his thoughts. _"Sometimes... It can hurt, trying to find a person who will make you happy. But it's worth it in the end."_ He shook his head and felt the retort thick in his mouth. The inner battle tore at some heartstring he hated to have plucked. _Yeah, but how am I supposed to know if going after him is even worth it? Even before... he didn't say it, after I said it. He didn't say that he loved me._

But he did remember Yuki saying other things. Like, just a few days ago, he had said, _"You're the cat_"... But before that, on that one night, he knew that his lover's voice had whispered, _'Not just the 'cat' for much longer'_.

So what was it? What did Yuki feel - and with everything that had happened - how could there be happiness in any of it?

Kyou didn't know and he was becoming increasingly familiar in dealing with situations he couldn't explain at all.

- - - -

Kyou arrived at the clearing shortly after Yuki. The prince was still putting on his gloves when Kyou approached the edge of the secret base. The dappled rays of light rested on his bent shoulders, highlighting the white of his shirt to a nearly incredible, blinding hue. Kyou found that his jaw had given way, and his mouth was open just enough for a hiss of air to escape.

Slowly, Yuki turned around. Kyou's eyes refound themselves in the purple gaze of his cousin. Yuki obviously was taken aback by his appearance in his nearly sacred place. His lips parted slightly and he ran his tongue over his bottom lip as he searched for words. He began to furrow his brow when Kyou spoke first, desperate to distract himself from that _nubile_ attachment and how woozy it made him feel in his stomach, how it was just as sharp as when he spoke and when he-

"Wait!" Kyou moved forward, "Wait, I don't wanna fight right now."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"I had to come..." his voice trailed off. "I need to know what it was that made us lose our memories. I don't want it to happen again."

"I told you, I don't remember," Yuki bent down to set up his gardening tools. Unimpressed, Kyou placed his hands on his hips and continued vigorously.

"You had that book, I know that book has the answers. I remember seeing it before, and you told me -"

"You don't need to know what it says," Yuki cut in, removing a shovel from his pile. "The less you know about the curse, the better off you'll be."

"What are you saying?"

"If Akito is responsible for erasing our memories, then the reason for it had something to do with the curse. With that book. Why should we open up the book? Why should we do something that will just cause us to lose our memories again?"

"How do you know that we'll lose our memories?" Kyou pressed.

The prince shrugged. "I don't. But the chances aren't in favor of keeping our memories, so _I'm_ leaving the curse alone."

"You damn rat, I don't want to lose my memories either! That's stupid-"

Yuki looked at him pointedly. "Stupid cat," he said.

"Damnit! Shut up!" Kyou looked away, hurting more than he wanted to admit. "Look, even you have to know what I'm feeling. I -- I don't want the curse! I'm tired of being a freak, okay? I'd do anything to make the curse go away. I'm just -- I just think if it goes on much longer, I won't be able to fight anymore..."

The fist came out of nowhere, slamming into Kyou's chin.

Damnit...! Kyou felt himself fall backwards, pain shooting across his face and all he could think of was how did he get caught with his guard down _again_- and then Yuki looked down him. Kyou scowled. "_Don't give up,_" Yuki threatened, his voice a low whisper. "_Don't you - dare-_"

"But you just said --!"

"I said to protect your memory, and don't you _ever_ give it up to them!"

Kyou rose his chin. He had to squint his eyes to see the prince's face, shadowed by a thin halo of sunlight. And here he was, the cat, flat on his back in the crusty dirt. It made him sick, but it made him feel ill in a way that he recognized and clung to. It was anger...

He wiped off his mouth with the edge of his hand, dimly aware that Yuki had tried to command him to do something that he didn't know the first thing about.

Then, the wind rushed in his ears, and a familiar thrumming in his chest shot through his veins, and all the hate, all the desire, all the ache set him aflame. Set him against Yuki. It was all his fault, and it was everything, and Kyou shot up from the ground - a yell surging from inside him -

"You just don't _get it,_" Kyou snarled, and lunged towards his prey.

It was a fight that would be over before it began. That's the way it always was. Yuki exposed his neck to the sun as he leaned over to shout and Kyou chose that patch of skin as the most desperately pale spot of his body and exploded his rage into it with a rough shove of his forearm. Yuki stumbled backwards and Kyou carried in the motion, letting it propel him forward as he rushed towards Yuki, who had already put up guard. He had barely attacked before something hit him as 'wrong'.

Kyou strained to stretch his lips thin as he could, shouting, "Goddamnit, is that all you _ever_ do?"

Yuki caught himslf before Kyou's two punches made it to his stomach and he scuffled to the left.

"If by that you mean 'winning', then, obviously yes," Yuki answered smoothly, following the comment with a preventative block that Kyou just barely got caught by, and he grimaced as he taunted his cousin, swatting away the counter with a renewed onslaught of punches.

"You're just blocking! You're not really fighting me! Fight me, damnit!" growled Kyou, and to his rushing excitement, Yuki complied. And there was a fury of motion and Yuki still complied. And then something strange began to grow in Kyou... something he could explain.

It was a sort of impatience with the whole thing. It was a different anger because he knew that this physical contact wasn't good enough to satisfy him. It was an impatience because he knew that he couldn't win, and for some reason, Yuki didn't seem so impatient to end the damn thing and Kyou just wanted to leave and deal with his wounds already.

He taunted Yuki with a right punch and a fake backwards, hoping to bring the rat close enough to hear him over the sound of the fight. Kyou was taken aback when it worked, letting Yuki get close enough for him to upset the rat's balance- mentally, at least -

The words hastily rolled off his tongue. "Well, aren't you going to finish this--?"

Kyou dodged a blow to the face and looked at Yuki... apparently indifferent. He couldn't help being jealous of such a damn good guard for bewitching the aggressor, who shouldn't be looking at the face of the opponent anyway, because it was distracting and -- oh, right --

Side-step, double punch to the face, met and countered without counter-attack or anything --

"--aren't you going to humiliate me, like you always do--"

Kyou pulled his left arm across his body, then shoved his elbow out towards Yuki, hoping to catch him by surprise enough to sweep him --

"-- by knocking me over with--"

but Yuki caught his striking arm by the wrist and Kyou twisted, to break free, suddenly,

"-- a kiss?"

Kyou barely recovered his footing, shocked by the fact that Yuki had failed - for the first time - to follow through.

And then his mind caught up to him with the deafening roar of a train and Kyou found himself ground to the spot where he stood. His mind whirled with voices of adamant denial,_I just said...I didn't just say that. NO, I couldn't have - NO!_

"What did you just..." the voice trailed off.

Yuki began turning himself towards Kyou, his pupils..dilating? Or was that a trick of the light? Kyou couldn't even tell if his cheeks were flushed from blush or from exertion, or from sunburn, or maybe he was just hallucinating. He'd be so damn happy if he was hallucinating all of this, but Yuki smelled too much like fresh mint for it to be unreal.

"I said, _Kick_ me--" Kyou cut himself off, his eyes suddenly re-focusing and widening in shock, for once _not_ looking at Yuki's face and concentrating on his collarbone. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. He had to make Yuki believe that nothing had happened. He summoned his voice again, and it came out in a way that made him feel desperate - "C'mon... Kick me... _Kick_ me!"

And Yuki didn't.

For some reason, the only thing that Kyou could even comprehend over the sound of his heart beating too quickly was that Yuki's hand was still wrapped around his wrist.

It was trembling.

- - - -

**The Authoress Puts on Her Native Accent.**  
If y'all dun revioowoo, it ull taykuh a laoong tahm ta uhpdayte. Haw dou y'all thank I mekka prah-oar-itty uv et uhnless y'all gimme a Howdy, o-ah sum bon-ah-fahd sau-sa an' toutiya chi-eps?


	19. Grey Faced Boy Part 1

So basically, I'm as much of a whore for reviews as anyone so here it is - a mega-chapter of slash and resolution! Which had to be split into two parts... The second part will be out SOON. Since I'm a high school senior without a boyfriend, I'm emotionally needy, you have to review or I'll get emo. So there. laugh Though I'll admit that this story is practically melodramaticangst. This may seem random, but I was looking at the first page of this fic, and I realized that it had begun on such a whim; I'd only meant to make this whole 'sequel' into three chapters. Three chapters became over thirty-thousand words, but who's counting, right? There were just so many ways I could develop this story, and there's still things I want to express and I don't think I'll get to. If I ever do, it would be in off-shots to the Plants & Ache series - and this is the truly funny part - I had originally planned Ache to be the 'second part' to Plants, but I'd worried that it wouldn't be long enough. Ha! And now, my obligatory excuses for not updating faster. One, I only got nine reviews, and two, a lightning storm had my internet outed for about a week. I'm sorry the last chapter was such a disappointment... Maybe this one will make up for it.

Rating: Pg-13. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest.  
Category: Angst/Romance  
Pairing: Kyou/Yuki  
Length: 18-A/18

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese

_Chapter Eighteen (First Part): Grey Boy_

It was touch. Willingly, Yuki was holding onto him, with a clammy hand around his bony wrist. Kyou's heart throbbed in such a suspicious way that he knew it was all just a trick of the winter light that had conjured this sudden dream. The idea that Yuki could love him - yes, that was always a dream. It was wishful thinking caused by the stupid garden; that stupid, terribly-smelling garden that made his stomach flip... Made his mouth dry. Made his palms sweaty. Made his heart hurt more than he could bear.

"Let go of me," Kyou's voice broke in lowly. Yuki's eyes widened and he let go, drawing back his hand as if he'd placed it on a hot stove. His hand rested against his chest and he seemed pale in the face.

It was enough to let him know that something was changed. Somehow in that moment, with his anger tangled between himself and the rat in broken, sticky webs, Kyou knew that they were trapped. Everything had to be resolved now, or else, he wouldn't make it. The cat opened his mouth, only to find that he couldn't get to his voice. He flushed, darting a glance at Yuki's grey expression, and cleared his throat before trying again. His voice came out weakly.

"I can't do this anymore."

"Then you're an idiot," Yuki snapped, and let out a rough sigh as Kyou bristled.

"I'm _not_ an idiot!" he fumed, "I'm trying to talk to you, damnit!"

"I'd rather you didn't. Go away."

Why didn't he want to know? Why was he so... mysterious? Kyou found himself ruffling back his bangs. Yuki sighed heavily again in exasperation. Kyou pointedly ignored it, but even so, answered more hesitantly after the first rebuke.

"I don't care what you say-" _Lie._ "- but I can't leave now. I won't leave until you listen to me you damn rat, I remember _everything_ that happened and it's important. I remember what Akito did and why, and -- what -- Yuki, what the hell?"

Yuki, who had been standing before him just moments before, sparring with him, shouting at him, had crumpled to the ground in a heap. Instantly, Kyou rushed forward and kneeled down beside his cousin, all too conscious of the heat flaring in his cheeks. He took in the pallor of the rat's face with a growing panic in the pit of his stomach. Of course, of course he would get sick _now_, of all times, his stupid asthma was always interrupting things.

In spite of himself, however, he was shouting. "What's wrong with you? What the hell are you doing? Get up! Get up, damnit...!"

Yuki took in a ragged breath and coughed.

"Can't... Asthma... _Asthma attack_," he motioned to his neck, wheezing out, "_I can't breathe--_"

"Shit," Kyou cursed, his eyes flashing.

It was obviously his fault for pushing Yuki when he was obviously at risk for an asthma attack, but how the hell was he supposed to know? He found his palm twitching to comfort Yuki, to move in small circles on his back. But what could he do? He couldn't do anything... Not now. The only thing he knew how to do was to _fuck everything up_.

Another cough racked through Yuki, and Kyou stiffened with... Fear. Definitely, fear.

"Get ahold of yourself!" he snapped, his hand reaching out to pull Yuki's head forward. The boy looked at him with bleary eyes, and Kyou found himself immensely aware of how soft Yuki's hair was in his fingers, and the heat of his skin underneath. He was assaulted with memories of carressing that hair, but even more so he was reminded of what he remembered, of Akito beating Yuki until his breathing couldn't come. Of Akito, the bottom of his heel digging into Yuki's back as his body was racked with coughs. Kyou screamed from within Hatori's grip... watching as Yuki's breathing came less and less... Feeling the raw skin around his eyes as embarassing tears kept pouring out. Feeling his throat, hoarse and raw from screaming, contract and release a desperate plea.. And...

... And damn his pride. Kyou took hold of Yuki by the shoulders, vowing that he'd do anything to make sure he didn't have to see the light go out of his eyes _ever again_.

He found his voice. "Rat. _Listen to me_. I have to know -- Do you have an inhaler with you?"

Yuki's eyes struggled to focus on Kyou, who forced himself to stay grounded in the present. The prince shook his head, stifling another dry cough.

"Then - is there something - to stop it? Is there something I can do. Is there something --" Kyou winced at the sporadic attack that had forced Yuki to bend over his cousin's lap and gasp shallowly for air. His arms had long ago become wrapped around his chest. Kyou pushed him upright. The rat attempted to straighten his chest and brace himself with his arms. It didn't seem to help.

"Is there something - here - in the garden - that can help you?" Kyou demanded, his eyes searching.

He felt a wave of relief when he heard Yuki's gasp catch in his throat.

"There's..." Yuki struggled to speak between coughs, "But it's too... dangerous."

"I don't care what it is! You'll _die_, don't you get it?"

For a moment, Yuki didn't seem to breathe at all - then he exhaled and it made his entire body shudder. Kyou awkwardly rested his hand on the boy's shoulder, expecting to be swatted away. Yuki didn't seem to protest, and that in itself made the moment seem more tense, more desperate than it should have been, when they'd been so violently fighting each other just minutes earlier.

"Catnip," he said finally, and let out a wheezing breath at the same moment that Kyou took his air in. For the first time in weeks, their eyes met - not that they were looking at each other, but that they were seeing _into_ each other, no emotions shuttered, with the honesty and fear flashing between them.

They stayed like that - not breathing - just long enough to hear a bird-song mock them from somewhere in the distance. Then abruptly Kyou drew his hand back from Yuki's back, and got to his feet.

"Okay," he said, subdued. "I'll... I'll have it. Just trust me."

Yuki closed his eyes as a savage cough racked him.

Kyou snapped back around, with wild eyes. Yuki lazily lifted up his eyes to look at his cousin, who scowled and tried to recompose himself as best as he could; he tried to justify the anxiety that had forced him to check on his love.

"What? Keep breathing. I'm about to _help_, so don't stop, damnit," he ordered lowly. Then he bit his lip, once, before running to the garden.

He could've sworn that he heard the words 'stupid cat' thrown at him, but it was lost to the pounding of his heart and his feet against the soil.

Before him, the patch of earth in the middle of the clearing was hardly recognizable. He remembered seeing plants in very straight, orderly rows and seedlings peeking from the earth. He now distinctly remembered seeing the garden when Yuki had destroyed it, but now - no more than a month and a half later - grasses were growing inbetween beds, haggard bushes seemed to have creeped in over the edges of the plot, and while a portion of the mess had clearly been weeded, not a single vegetable, fruit, or herb was in bloom. There were, however, dead leaves and stems littered about the edges of the waste. He remembered the stench of bruised stems, the oils mixing in the ground. But the rotting smell didn't seem as prevalent anymore; most likely, the rat had disposed of those plants somewhere. It was in the present that Kyou could sense something entirely different...

It was the vaguest hint of mint, and aloe, and spice - and something that made him think of - of love. Of _lust_. Of heat.

For a split second, Kyou doubted himself, doubted what he would do, whether he should just run away... Save his dignity. Save anything. His head snapped back towards Yuki. He was hunched over on the ground, his hair mingling with the soil and his face as unearthly pale as it had ever been. His body was shaking with pain, and after taking in his breath, he let it out in slow motion. His arms were wrapped around his chest. He fixed his stare on that one spot on Yuki's arm: it was _that_ arm - the flesh of that arm that he'd ripped open, when he'd transformed. And that other arm, that arm had held onto him to keep him from hurting Tohru. And those arms... had held him with so much love that it freed him.

Through all of these thoughts, the cat breathed in that overwhelming feeling -that _love, lust, heat!_ smell - which was somehow connected to Yuki.

Yuki.

No matter what would happen afterwards, Kyou knew one thing for certain: losing everything was better than losing _him_.

He would do _anything_ for him... Because he _loved_ him.

Resolute, Kyou strode forward and sorrounded himself by patches and rows of plants of overwhelmingly variant smells and appearances. The scent of the catnip rested hazily like a thin blanket over the area. Mint grew between raddish heads and lettuce swirled with soft, brown leaves left over from autumn. Focusing on any plant in particular confused him within seconds. Struggling, Kyou looked to his left and attempted to single out any unusual looking shrub; but to his frustration, most of them were still far too trampled to distinguish from one another. With every moment, his alarm over Yuki's condition was a problem that was just begging to be sratched and Kyou found himself closing his eyes to recenter himself. _Don't let it get to you. Don't let it get to you,_ he chanted, _Don't think about the way it smells. The way it smells._

He reached out to steady himself as a massive spike of feeling overwhelmed his heart. As he stumbled forward, his fingers brushed against a sturdy stem with tiny leaves.

This one, his heart told him. Do it. Now!

Kyou yanked. The stem snapped in half. Immediately he felt it: the bird-song stopped, the breeze froze, the garden faded into nothing and Kyou's eyelashes fluttered only once. His pupils dilated and the sharp world around him disappeared. First, the distant leaves of the evergreen. Then the lines of the bark on their trunks. Then the dappled sunlight that sprawled across the clearing like melted butter lifted itself back into the sky. Beads of oil dripped from the severed end of the plant down the crevices of his palm. He bent his head down and rubbed his cheek against the spicy oil.

Then, suddenly, there was freedom. Radiant, sun-bursting freedom and -- happiness -- The cat was happy. Happy like he'd never known happy before. Like everything would be okay... it was the most absurd and awesome, visible, tangible _joy_. That he had to share. That had to encompass him completely, that needed to own him and fill his lungs and-- Some voice within him stirred. _That sounds... familiar. There's something I have to do._

No. Not now, not when he was free, to be so satisfied and lo-

"_Stop it!_" Kyou struggled to reclaim himself and fought to recover his footing. How had he ended up on the ground? Oh... god, he was aroused... And Yuki! He needed... the catnip. No, _Yuki_ needed it more. Not _him_.

He heard a high pitch rasp come from - not across the garden - but on the other side of a dream.

For a moment, Kyou stared in the direction of the sound, unseeing. Then he pulled himself forward and lurched through the garden, stepping on the loomy soil and then on a brittle, dead vegetable and dirt and dirt and then he collapsed in front of the prince. His prince. Purr. _I love you. I love you. I love you... You make me happy._ He stretched out and the skin of his stomach met the cool air... The sky was swirling... Something was still not right...

Big, grey eyes, shining.. White, white face, and that same grey at the edges of his mouth... but such soft lips. He reached out to feel them with the pad of his fingertips... of his left hand. Then he took in a sharp breath and his body trembled... This is... of fear?

_I'm too late. Need to help him. NOW,_ Kyou's voice split throughout his mind, desperately loud, _I have to save him **THIS TIME**._

The hand with the plant reached up to the grey lips. _There. Put it there,_ the disembodied voice instructed from far away. Unsure of even who he was listening to... why was his body obeying this voice... Kyou found himself placing the plants against the boy's mouth. The pad of his thumb brushed against the silk of the other boy's bottom lip. The eyes again -- and the prince's hand came out and made fast work, blur, biting off the top of the plant and chewing and breathing and chewing and he twitched - the cat had to have it - had to have that feeling! he needed it. He needed it and he wanted it so much, to be touched and loved. And to know that the one he loved was safe.

_He's safe. He **is** safe, now..._ came that strange voice, finally resting in the back of his mind. A cold sweat broke out as the cat took in the cotton green of the world around him. The haze was thick and happiness was in front of him and his mind was quiet.

Mewling, he reached out his hands and clutched at the warm, shaking form. He took in a deep breath - the other seemed to breathe not at all... Yet the breath slid across him, rough but nearly silent... And the scent wafted into his nostrils, and his eyelids fell as he leaned forward into that beautiful smell.

His mouth bumped against the prince's for a moment, awkwardly pressing against the open lips. The fragrance was everywhere, and that deeply satiating sensation overwhelmed him so much that he wanted to do flips and dance but the only thing dancing in him was his stomach. Vaguely he felt water on his cheeks and that there was a hand ruffling in his hair. In lazy admiration, Kyou found himself reaquainting himself with as much skin of the boy's face as he could - He purred at the dancing pleasure that this sent down his spine and he cocked his head to the side. The hand fell from his hair - the mouth also, but the feeling was replaced by a new sensation - a humid, wavering breath that rippled against his collarbone. The cat closed his eyes and suddenly couldn't remember anything but the gentle sound of breathing. He leaned against the grey boy and smelled him deeply. Yes, _his_, his grey boy.

Satisfied, he let himself move back for a moment, and went limp. And then -- asleep.

**A Pirate Who Looks Like Your Mum Pets her Parrot and Sayn't:**  
_"Avast! All ye scallywags who read an' do nay review be makin' Kyou 'n Yuki t' walk th' plank!_


	20. Grey Lips, Pink Lips Part 2

Alright guys. It's the grand finale at last. This is where everything culminates and the story concludes (but due to popular demand, there will be an epilogue chapter afterwards). I want to thankyou profusely for being such greater readers. Your encouragement in the form of reviews, PMs, fanart and diligent following of the story really kept me motivated. I'm proud to say that the Ache & Plants series, although taking over a year to complete, have become the size of a short novel (approximately 60,000 words). You guys are amazing, and you totally deserve getting to find out the ending. I quite honestly say that I love you and there are many times that hearing from you has made my life not only brighter, but at times, more worth living for than it had been prior. So, this is it: the ending. Without further ado...

**Rating:** Pg-13. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest.  
**Category:** Angst/Romance  
**Pairing:** Kyou/Yuki  
**Length:** 18-B/18

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese

_Chapter Eighteen (Second Part): Grey lips, Pink lips_

- - - -

Warmth, in the tips of his toes, and a cool breeze sweeping his hair against the base of his neck. A hazy fog was lifting slowly from his mind, and all that Kyou could bring himself to care about was the feeling of unearthly satisfaction that he had just achieved. He squinted his eyes, the edges still crusted with sleep. Curling into himself, slightly, he would've been perfectly content to remain in that semi-consciousnes, except for that prickling sensation of being watched.

Kyou's eyes opened to a world of mid-twilight.

Then he remembered where he was and why he felt as though he'd slept without his covers on. He _had_ slept without covers, he'd slept on the _ground_ and he'd done it because of _him_ - and he wasn't even sure if Yuki was still alive. After all that embarassment - Kyou's heart was beating quickly again - he couldn't help thinking that he could've still failed - and he had to know. Had to know if it had been worth it to debase himself. He forced himself to sit up, woozily, with the nagging impression that the catnip haze still lingered in his mind.

He found his voice before the world had finished swirling around him, though it still came out as a raspy croak. "Yuki!"

"Yes?"

Kyou swung around.

There he was, the Prince, sitting perfectly calm and centered only half a meter away. His face was still pale but it didn't have the grey around the lips anymore; his breathing seemed to be far more controlled. His bangs fanned about his large eyes in such a beautiful way that Kyou wanted to cry. He was _beautiful_ but even more importantly he was _alive_.

So Yuki was alive. And safe. And after what he'd done to save Yuki - where did that _leave_ him? And how he'd taken advantage of Yuki - again, except this time, he was practically dying - What did that _make_ him?

_Miserable and alone, just like always,_ Kyou thought sourly, though his eyes had been entirely captured by the wispy bangs that seemed to be the very tendrils of the sky, as if the fading light of the day had been enchanted into the color of Yuki's hair.

He felt that distinct pang again, and he hurriedly masked it with that other feeling he was so desperate to escape.

"I hate it," Kyou snarled, "It's like - it's like when I turn into _that_ other form. I can't control myself. I'm not even human. I'm less than that, even - I can't even hear my own voice - "

"Thank you."

Yuki's head was slightly tilted as he smiled. A wave of terror rippled through Kyou's heart at the simple expression that lit up his cousin's face. He appeared so relaxed - so tranquil - but for Kyou to see that smile, directed at him? To see such soft eyes? How could he keep himself calm when Yuki was treating him like he really gave a damn? And how, how could he make an expression like that when he always hated him so hard?

"No, don't thank me! You don't get it!" Kyou slid his tongue across his bottom lip, and he felt himself growing frustrated with his inability to articulate his feelings. "I'm - I'm a _freak_!"

"I don't blame you for it," said the rat, still unruffled. Yuki stared directly at him with an unreadable expression, and somehow this made Kyou feel worse.

"Why? Why don't you? Everyone else does! It's obviously _my fault_ that I'm like this, I must have done something terrible to deserve being born into this... this _body_."

"I was born into _this_ body, too."

"But it's different!" Kyou insisted.

"No, it's _not_!" Yuki testily returned, "I have things expected of me, too! I have so much that this family expects of me - and I know what it is to be imprisoned - you got to be free to do whatever you pleased! I may not have a visible form of _my_ sickness, my evil spirit, but I know it's there. You, and me... We're the same, really."

Kyou averted his eyes as petal-shades of blush bloomed across his cheeks. He couldn't believe that he was hearing this and that it could make him feel so... so warm; in his cheeks, in his heart.

He refolded his arms, desperate to keep them from uncontrollably reaching out to Yuki. He couldn't even explain it, but he could sense the pain and he was still somehow shocked by the sudden change of everything around him. And that smile had been something to cling to. Now, without hate, without love...

"You're okay, now, though," Kyou half-stated. He bent his neck in a clumsy attempt to hide the heat on his cheeks from Yuki. It was only with great effort that he could keep from shaking with his mortification.

Did I _really_ kiss him?

Or was that part of the dream?

"You helped," Yuki replied, quietly. "The catnip helped me get composed... and back in control."

Kyou took in an unsteady breath. He could still feel it on his _lips_ and he was anything _but_ in control. His protective layers were unraveling from him with every breath, every second. Why? Why did these interviews always take so much energy out of him? Why couldn't he just let go of the stupid notion that there had ever been something meaningful between them, and that he had wanted it - and still wanted it - more than anything in the world? Why did he have to feel this way?

A warm, gentle touch on his cheek sharply drew him back to reality. Kyou's eyes dilated as he struggled to focus in front of him.

Yuki's hand drew back after only a moment. He looked down at his splayed fingers and frowned at them, then at Kyou.

"You're crying."

"No - No, I'm not!" Kyou threw his hands to his surprisingly wet eyes. He could scarcely believe that he hadn't felt his eyes leaking, too lost on his own thoughts of being humiliated, and now doubly so. The loss of even this last dignity was too much to bear - and Kyou mumbled an excuse so intelligible that there was no way for Yuki to refute it. He heard the linen of Yuki's shirt rumple and it reminded Kyou of how close they were to each other. He willed his face to look as natural as possible, even though a voice in the back of his head reminded him of how he'd failed to keep any self-control at all.

Yuki's voice cut through the fog of his senses, like a clear glass bell. "You are... Crying. Is this because... of...?"

"That's stupid," Kyou interjected, summoning his last reserve of pride. He tried to return the appearance of strength to his shoulders with an utter lie: "I wasn't worried about _you_! If that's what you think--"

"Actually, it's not. I was asking if the catnip made you cry," Yuki replied, his eyes filled with a deceptively innocent sincerity. Kyou realized he'd been tricked and his cheeks reddened.

"It's none of your business," he growled.

"But... I want it to be."

Kyou felt taken aback.

"What are you tryin' to say?" he asked deliberately.

The rat turned his head away and stared off into some undeterminable distance. Kyou followed the path of his gaze but all he could see were the looming shadows of trees and forest and the last of the purple in the sky before it became utterly dark with night. When he returned to look at Yuki, he was surprised to find that the boy was gazing at him intently.

"Kyou, I think... Would you...?" The boy's mouth parted for a slight intake of breath. He was moving forward and Kyou's heart began to race dangerously inside of his chest. As the space closed between them, all the air seemed to be pressured into that meager distance between them. The inexplicable tension hung in the air for the longest moment, and then suddenly,Yuki's delicate hand came to rest on his shoulder. The feeling shot through his nerves with such force that Kyou forgot how to breath. Looking down, Kyou searched Yuki's own penetrating eyes. Then, Yuki placed his other hand on the ground by Kyou's hip, and pulled himself forward, directly into Kyou's lap. His arms snaked around Kyou's waist, and he lowered his head against Kyou's shoulder. His lips were right against the fabric of Kyou's shirt, and as he exhaled, his warm and moist breath seeped through the cloth.

"...I'm just... please," Yuki drowsily finished, his fingers clutching into the cotton of the cat's shirt.

It wasn't a complete thought, even, but Kyou understood all too well. He gently placed his arms around Yuki's thin shoulders, and pulled the boy deeper into his lap. His hands encircled Yuki easily, naturally, his entire being fluttering around him like a moth to a flame. Kyou's heart was pounding and the only thing that kept him from dying of that embarassment was the knowledge that Yuki's heart was going just as fast - perhaps it was beating even faster.

Why?

Kyou turned his cheek into the rat's lush grey hair. His lips passed lightly over the top of Yuki's ear.

"What's this about, Yuki...?"

For a moment, Yuki paused in his breathing. Then he replied in a quiet mumble, "Stop asking questions," and looked away. Kyou scowled and pushed Yuki backwards enough to peer into his eyes.

"C'mon, you damn rat, why the hell are you acting like this? You - you hate me. You have damn good reason to hate me even if I just - you know - _helped_ you with your asthma or whatever, it doesn't change anything!"

Yuki's heavy eyes lifted towards Kyou, and a false smile played at the corner of his lips.

"You know, right now, your skin is glowing with the light of the sunset." Yuki's delicate hand traced Kyou's forearm with an exploring touch, the pads of his fingertips sliding gently across the tan and golden skin. Kyou shivered at it, finding himself struck by the action in an unreasonable way that wouldn't let him look away. "Kyou, you look so warm... There's something about you that's always so filled with... heat. With feeling. And when I'm close enough to you, I feel like... it makes me warm, too... when you kiss me."

Kyou's breathing hitched and Yuki's fingers crept beneath his shirt sleeve.

"Yu... _Yuki_!" he gasped.

Yuki brought his other hand up to rest on Kyou's cheek. Kyou felt his eyes widen and his vision darted rapidly in and out of focus as the shock hit him, that somehow the status quo had shifted again, and suddenly his cousin was very much in control of the situation and Kyou couldn't say a single word.

"It was the catnip. It had to be the catnip, I think. You knew what the catnip would do to you and you still tried to help me. I didn't understand my own thoughts at all - I didn't understand why I wanted you so badly to be there with me - I thought it was just that I was dying - and then I remembered I had been dying before - And the taste of catnip - I remembered that, and the thought of dying, and -"

"Akito," Kyou cut him off, and swallowed, his mouth strangely dry, "I don't know what Akito told you, but I didn't do anything. Shigure - Shigure's the one who told her about us - but only because she made him. Because we can't disobey Akito. But - But this - this was different, I think-"

Kyou couldn't understand how he was still coherent. He was exhausted, and he felt like all of his emotions had been screwed in every direction; and yet, the words which had clung to the back of his throat were now some sort of eager honey on his tongue.

"You know, Akito told me not to love you- But I couldn't, I just _couldn't_ - And then she showed you to me, and, _she_ was going to let you die if I didn't agree to letting our memories be erased - She made me watch it, that sick bitch made me _watch_ you coughing - coughing up blood," Kyou closed his eyes, the images flooding through his head too quickly for him to make sense of. "And Hatori... Just standing there. Not doing anything while she laughed. Yuki, it wasn't worth it, I just couldn't let you die, even though I knew I swore I wouldn't do anything stupid again, I just, I just..."

Oh, god, he was crying. He couldn't even stop it, but it was okay now, because Yuki remembered and he was here. And he was alive. And he was holding him. And he was alive. And Kyou loved him, Kyou loved him so much, that it hurt to exist.

Yuki's voice was nearly too quiet for Kyou to hear over the sound of the breeze winding through the tops of the pine tree forest.

"Go on."

"I had to agree. You had to live. But I loved you," Kyou gasped, "I just... I still do. Even after everything that happened, I still really do."

He cracked his eyes open just in time to see Yuki with the most beautiful smile he'd ever worn in his life.

"And you think that I don't?" asked the Prince, with a ghost of a smirk on the edges of his lips.

Kyou stopped breathing.

Yuki moved forward and tilted his forehead together with Kyou's. A tremor went down his spine as he felt the warm breath of the smaller boy against him, and at that moment all of those deeply contained feelings and aches came to a head: he loosened his hold on Yuki's shirt and refound their place against Yuki's cheeks. With a great effort he took in a great breath, and pulled Yuki into his lap completely and captured his lips, consciously this time; and it was too fierce to be loving, it was too wet to be lovely, it was everything that Kyou couldn't put into words, and somehow, in that amazing way that Yuki had, Kyou felt his lover respond with the same intensity and perfect understanding- agreeing, soothing, complementing, and fiercely devouring him in turn.

Sunlight rippled behind them as the moment passed into minutes, and the minutes passed into the twilight, and the stars emerged in the bright, infinite future that danced in the galaxies above their heads.

- - - -

For the low cost of your review, you can gain access to an epilogue that includes special features such as... the musical track for Plants and Ache, the long-awaited Kinky-Kyou & Yuki clothes (Version 2.0), a party, and enough fluff to give you a toothache (There will be toothpaste and toothbrushes available just in case). Make sure to tell the authoress what you think of the story, too!


	21. Epilogue

Author's Note at end.

**Ache**  
by Lanie Kay-Aleese

_Epilogue_

- - - -

Black hair and grassblades and a bright blue sky. The grass was sharp, clean, and cool beneath his feet. The sky above was just as crisp and deeply open, with paint blotches of white clouds splattered across its' highest limits. Far below, Kyou felt his feet planted in the grass and somehow he felt like he could scrape his fingers against the tips of the sky, all at the very same time.

And the hair. Kyou loved the way his lover's hair was such a shock against the blue sky: not fading into the color of the grey clouds, but present, tangible, and very real. Black. He adored his lover's eyes, that were deep like oceans, that could not be mistaken for the color of cold stone. He loved the warm feeling of Yuki as he hesitantly drew back his tongue and slid it against the edges of his lips, before returning it into his own mouth. Though he couldn't like that feeling for too long, because as sated as he was, he constantly craved such kisses the moment they had left him.

Well, it wasn't actually not moving against his anymore, for some reason that Kyou couldn't understand.

"No," Kyou complained, and leaned back towards that warm embrace of lips. Two slender hands pushed back on his chest, laughter bursting out.

"If we keep going like this, we'll never leave--"

"Yuki..."

Kyou grinned mischeviously and wrapped his arms around Yuki's waist.

"We'd get dirt everywhere," he protested firmly, pulling away and bending over to bury a seed into the ground. It was, of course, completely accidental that bending over would allow some rather suggestive rubbing against Kyou's hips.

"Jerk," Kyou ground out between clenched teeth.

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I being a problem?" Yuki smirked, straightening. Kyou fought for composure.

"What... Whatever. Let's just hurry up already, Tohru wants us home soon," Kyou forced out the words and sat down beside his cousin, pouting. Yuki stared at him, trying to make eyecontact. Eventually, he gave up the task and sighed as he sat back. He rolled some seeds inbetween his gloved hands absentmindedly.

"I only wanted you to stop because you told me that you want us to get home on time for the party."

Kyou grunted.

"I don't even want to go to the party," Yuki reminded him, calmly patting a mound of soil around three differently-sized seeds.

"Doesn't matter," Kyou replied, terse. "You would've gone anyway because Tohru asked you to, and she invited your student council friends."

Head bent to the ground, Yuki did his best to not let Kyou see his discomfort as he said, "But you invited the Fan Club Girls." "They have names, you know - Motoko, Minami, and-" _"Thing 1, Thing 2..."_ quoted Yuki. Kyou turned around so that they would be facing. Yuki read his boyfriend's face quickly, and ammended:

"You know I don't feel safe around that much activity all at once, but... It's our graduation party, and Tohru's made a big deal of it. She even coerced Shigure into buying a Barbeque grill, and since you're so excited about it, I might even... talk... to your Fan Club Friends if you'd stop pouting like a girl." "I'm not pouting like a girl!" Kyou shot back, "You're the one with the Girly _face_."

"You wore a dress."

"So did you!"

"Oh shut up," Yuki flushed.

That was all it took, and suddenly Yuki had diverted Kyou's passion from indignation to pride, which was almost as good to his ego as happiness itself.

Kyou crowed over Yuki's shoulder, proud to have achieved a small victory. Yuki swatted him away. "Will you help me plant, now?"

Kyou opened his mouth and began to speak when Yuki interrupted - "And I've already helped you with 'that' problem this morning, so now it's your turn to help me with this!"

"I was _going_ to say,'I can't help you unless I can use a shovel, because I hate getting dirt in my fingernails'," said Kyou.

Yuki choked on his own laughter as Kyou looked at him, bemused. It was clear that the unintended sexual pun was completely lost on Kyou; a naivette that made Yuki smile fondly. And even at that same time, Kyou's hand went out to reach into the still-strange, smooth blackness of his lover's hair, hardly aware of what he was doing. All he could think of was how beautiful Yuki's face was when he smiled, and how stunning it was to see that face framed with black.

"...Kyou?" He flushed and moved back his hand at Yuki's softly inquiring voice. Kyou, however, continued to gaze at him in what he thought to be a bitter-sweet manner. Yuki would have said that memory danced in the depths of his eyes. In both of their dark brown eyes.

"I don't know if I'll ever get used to it," Kyou said finally, his face flushed and his eyes averted. He saw the trees in the distance, the tops of branches bending in the wind. Listening to the wind, feelingYuki rise beside him and wrap his slender arms around his shoulders, Kyou tried to place himself in the moment. All he knew is that the weather was getting warmer and the world wasn't the same. And he was going to go to university - with Yuki - in a week.

He covered Yuki's hand with his own, distracting himself with the feel of another's soft fingers resting over his heart. Yuki, who smelt of the earth, tucked his head on the cleft between Kyou's shoulder and neck, and closed his eyes. "I don't hate the changes," Kyou mentioned, vaguely. "It's just... Looking at you is... shocking."

"_My_ hair; _shocking_? And this, coming from the one who was once called 'Carrot-top'?"

"You liked my hair."

"I _like_ your hair," Yuki corrected, playfully rubbing up closer against Kyou's back. "Of course... you can always highlight it back to its' old color if you want."

"Nah, I think... I think it's better to keep it this way... For a while longer. It feels amazing to be so..."

"Free?"

"Yeah," Kyou exhaled and dropped his eyes to Yuki. "It's more rebellious to look normal, isn't it?"

They leaned their noses together and their mouths met in a brief kiss.

"I love you," Kyou smiled, the light reaching his eyes. Kyou leaned forward again and pressed his cheek against Yuki's. The slighter boy raised his gloved hands up to press against Kyou's back. They held each other until their arms tingled and their faces were far too warm in the places they connected. And then, so naturally that it was as though nothing else could happen, Kyou took Yuki's fine chin in his hands, twisted it to the side and planted his lips on Yuki's own. He kissed him, then; powerfully, heatedly, surrendering all of his most trembling soul.

"Love you more," Yuki broke out, his eyes fastened on the wet sheen of his lovers' bottom lip, "So much, always--"

He didn't get any further as he was locked in an even more desperate embrace of tongues and teeth and unbalancing emotions blossoming in their hearts.

And as the sun crested the sky at the peak of the day, and twin halos appeared in the highlights of the boys' black hair, a deep part of Yuki's heart lay content and still. At last, _at last_, nothing else was missing.

- - - -  
_FIN._  
- - - -

...Is it really here? The end-end? No more of this story - ever? Somehow I doubt that I could easily let go of this fantasy I designd for Kyou and Yuki; there are so many other stories about this whole situation which seem to orbit them... but... I do believe that I won't be continuing it after this point. One of the best things to do with a novel is to let it go and let others imagine the rest. I'm suddenly struck by the feeling that only the crucial portions should remain, and the rest be just so barely mentioned that the reader can but salivate for more -- and by that, I hope that it will mean that the reader's own creativity will necessarily respond. happy So that's why I'm not telling you about the other costume. If you heard my idea, you'd perhaps be disappointed (I have the inclination to believe that you have all already come up with certain, ahem, 'images').

But before you leave, THANKYOU for being so wonderful to me. So many times, hearing back from y'all was the only thing that got me through some tough days -and especially at writer's dead-block... It lifted me up, and I want to thank each of you for it. I love writing, but my favorite thing... **is knowing that it connects me to people**. So tell me how this story made you feel... minus the tomato throwing, of course. ;)

- - - -

**_Song Selection_**  
This is such a random mix... Although several songs evoked feelings in me appropriate for this story, there were just certain songs that seemed to fit too well in a manner of speaking! Honestly, some of the lyrics in these songs are creepily familiar to the situation. Or maybe it's not creepy, it's just ironic, coincidental, or brilliant. Haha! Anyway, the music below is largely "indie" or at least "alternative"; two songs are actually in Japanese. It may seem very random that they are Japanese songs. Well it IS very random. The first song by "Cuetracks" struck me immediately with the feelings of hope, beauty, and melancholy which fit perfectly for a vast majority of mood. And then the second Japanese song by "Hy" was introduced to me by a Japanese friend. For some reason I always think of it as the "party song"... A really uplifting power!!epilogue!! song, haha - I imagine it taking place in the party that will be taking place after the last scene of the Epilogue. I guess that now is a good time to cut my ramble short and let you get to the music choice, which was probably your goal in the first place.

Stevie Wonder. Secret Life of Plants  
Cuetracks. Yozora ga Yuuyake wo Tsutsumu Koro  
The Shins. Caring is Creepy  
The Gathering. Herbal Moment  
Frou Frou. Close Up  
Hot Garden Stomp. Sun Song  
Snow Patrol. Grazed Knees  
Rasputina. Signs of the Zodiac  
Drifters. Up On the Roof  
Flyleaf. I'm So Sick  
The Honorary Title. Petals  
Postal Service (Flaming Lips cover). Suddenly Everything has Changed  
Zero 7. Destiny  
Snow Patrol. Somewhere a Clock is Ticking  
Frou Frou. Breathe In  
Maria Mena. Just Hold Me  
Sugarcult. Memory (acoustic)  
Hy. Hy Summer

**LANIE is blowing her nose into a tissue while playing piano with her feet.**  
_"I'll never forget you, Jack... But if you bid me farewell, somehow I know... that my heart will go on... And it shall go on... For... A while... Two weeks tops..."_


End file.
